He had to remember this moment, etch all the details permanently in his brain to help get past the extreme insecurity he faced after leaving. Whatever happened outside these walls truly didn’t matter. He had to learn to relax and go with the flow where Alec was concerned. He’d put himself through hell, denied himself so much happiness, for no apparent reason. He needed to be here for however long Alec wanted him. No one had to know. He kept secrets from his brothers all the time—
Fuck, his brothers could never find out. Not even Dev…
Alec shifted on top of him, pressing his lips closer to Keyes’s ear. “Your heartbeat’s accelerating. Stop whatever you’re thinking unless it’s the anticipation of me inside you. Then carry on.”
Keyes smiled and turned them so they were side by side, facing each other, but keeping Alec aligned toe to chest against his body, his arms still wrapped possessively around the guy. Alec copied his intent, his palm and fingers threading into Keyes’s hair. He liked this angle. He would never get his fill of looking at the man. Keyes leaned in, kissing Alec. Alec followed when he pulled away, giving him a softer, lingering press of the lips. It was this, the cuddling thing that showed just how different everything was with Alec. Keyes didn’t cuddle, but he couldn’t keep his hands off Alec.
“You think you know me so well to know what I’m thinkin’?”
“I’m trying to learn. I don’t ever want to go through what I did the last few weeks,” Alec said, his warm hand cupping Keyes’s neck.
“It was hard on me too. I drank a lot.”
“Did you get my text?” Alec asked.
Keyes paused. Would it hurt Alec that he had ignored him? Because he hadn’t at all. The opposite actually. He’d read that text every single day, so he answered truthfully, “I did.”
The silence between them became unbearably deafening as Alec stared at him. Keyes was so in tune with this man he could feel uncertainty and resounding hurt radiating from Alec—another new development in this bond forming between them.
“Everyone kept on about how I smelled.”
Alec’s sandy blond brows slid together, confusion marring his handsome face as he tried to understand how those two sentences worked together. If it weren’t for the gravity of the situation, Keyes would have smiled.
“Then I thought about everything. How you were clean and I was the dirty one. It was like the universe was tryin’ to tell me we didn’t fit, even for just a casual fuck. It freaked my shit out.”
Alec’s silence continued. He was so good at words it made a smile tug at the corner of Keyes’s mouth as he waited for Alec to understand.
“You smelled like me?” Alec finally asked.
“Not sure. I guessed my clothes you washed, maybe your shower gel. Maybe because I was happy and my old man can’t stand to see me happy.”
Alec’s brows furrowed again. “Old man for father, right? We established that earlier, correct?”
Keyes chuckled at him, remembering the conversation in front of the washing machine before. He lifted a finger, running the tip down the crease between Alec’s still wrinkled brow. It helped his heart to have Alec territorial, even if it was unfounded. “I bet you’re a demon in the courtroom. I want you to defend me if shit ever goes bad.”
“Don’t change the subject. So you left here, got shit for smelling like me… Seriously, don’t they bathe in this bike club?”
He busted out another much louder laugh and lifted a hand between them, giving his oath. “Every day. Make sure the clothes are clean, too. I don’t know what really happened there. I just know that when I was here, everything was okay, I thought it could work. When I got back to the shop, I freaked. They made me doubt myself and made me feel like trash and that grew from there.”
Alec moved, placing a hand on Keyes’s pec, pushing him to his back. Alec rose above him, balancing himself on his arms, a serious, almost angry look on his face as he stared down at Keyes. “You’re not trash, Key. You’re a man of great quality. I’m an excellent judge of character. I would never spend time with anything less.”
Ah hell, his heart did a little flip at how Alec tried to protect his feelings. Keyes’s hands went to Alec’s stern face, running the pads of his thumbs over Alec’s smooth cheeks. “That’s a stretch, even for you and all your fancy sentences,” he managed, while drawing Alec to his lips. “I haven’t had an easy life. I don’t have anything to offer. I get it. I just never felt bad about that before…”
“Continue, please,” Alec immediately encouraged, settling on his chest. “Go on. Finish what you were saying. I need to know what happened.”