As he stood there completely unnoticed, Arik looked around, found the sound system, and went that direction. He pushed a couple of buttons before the music cut out, plunging the room into an eerie silence. Kellus’s head immediately lifted in his direction.
“What are you doing here?” Kellus asked, surprise clear in his voice and playing across his face.
“That’s a question I should be asking you,” he said, moving closer to Kellus’s worktable.
Kellus stood, went for the door he’d left open and closed it. “I don’t leave these doors open anymore.”
Arik watched as Kellus moved to the sink and washed his hands before reaching for a shop rag. Once his hands were dry, he tossed the safety glasses and the rag onto a clean spot on the counter and turned back to Arik. Kellus wore worry in his eyes, but his gaze never wavered. It was kind of impressive under all the attitude and accusation Arik threw his way.
“Look, I’m sorry. I should’ve called. But it’s really not a good time for me to start anything right now.”
“You’re blowing me off?” Arik asked incredulously, as if Kellus’s words weren’t completely obvious to him.
Kellus blinked several times, then sighed before turning away. “Not blowing you off. I should’ve called. It’s just not a good time for me.”
“What happened between the time I dropped you off this morning and right now?” Arik asked. For every step Kellus took away, Arik followed.
Kellus remained silent for so long Arik thought he might not answer.
“John’s caused more trouble. Which only reinforces what he’s capable of. You don’t need that in your life.” Kellus picked up a few paint brushes that were on the counter. He’d moved to the opposite side of the table and placed the brushes in a bin before reclaiming his spot. He glanced back down at what he had been working on. His head cocked as he studied the pieces before moving them around, changing the design of the broken glass.
“I’ll be the judge of what I do or don’t need in my life. Is that what happened in the house?” Arik asked, moving closer.
“Yeah,” Kellus said distractedly, shifting the pieces back to their original place before finally looking over at him. The sadness that had faded yesterday was back in those baby blues.
Arik held on to that look and tried to put his extreme frustration aside. He could see the weariness written all over Kellus’s face. John’s actions were taking a toll. But he couldn’t help if Kellus didn’t let him in and more than anything, he wanted to be there and support him through this.
Kellus meant something to him, more than he was willing to acknowledge, and the guy had to stop running away every time they parted company.
“Listen to me, Kellus, I need you to stop thinking for me. I’m a grown man who lives in the real world. I know what I can handle and I know what I’m feeling. So far, there’s nothing you’ve done or said that turns me away or comes remotely close to countering how I feel for you, but Christ, Kellus, you’ve got to stop running away from me.”
Arik’s brow furrowed as he tried to understand why Kellus looked even more defeated than he had minutes ago. Kellus reached back to a stool behind him, held it in place, and sat down. His hands came together, dropping between his thighs as his shoulders slumped forward. Oh man, he’d misread this situation. His guy hadn’t only been beaten down; he was close to being broken. Any anger he’d had fled away. He moved to stand directly in front of Kellus, whose head stayed bent, but his eyes lifted.
“I need to stay close to home until I can get things figured out. He bypassed my security system, which means he could get in here. I can’t afford to have him take anything in here. It’d ruin me.”
“So you’re blowing me off because of your livelihood and not because you don’t think I can handle things?” Arik asked, making sure he understood.
“I wish you would stop saying it like that. I’m not blowing you off,” Kellus said, looking back down at his flip-flops.
“It feels that way.” Arik rounded the worktable, coming close to Kellus. He had to shove his hands inside his jeans pockets to keep from reaching out.
“But, it’s not. If things were different, I’d be the most flattered guy on the planet. I’d jump at the chance to go out with you. It’s just not in my cards right now,” Kellus explained, staring up at him with regret.
“So you feel all this, too?” Arik used his hand, motioning between the two of them. “What I’m experiencing. The intensity of this connection we share.”
“Of course. How could I not?” Kellus asked, uncertainty and pain laced his voice. Kellus crossed his arms over his chest as if he was holding himself together.