“Yeah sure. I mean you and Todd must’ve done it like a million times without anything though, right? And you didn’t get pregnant.”
“Something like that,” I lie. I hate lying to Rochelle, but I don’t have much of a choice.
Colter barely speaks to me, and I wonder if he knows that I’m pregnant. We’re about to go out the door when James enters through the garage. I didn’t even hear his motorcycle pull up. Was he already here and hiding out there the whole time? His gaze meets mine briefly and I smile. He scowls at his shoes. Is he upset that I’m here?
“Where are you kids headed off to?”
“A party. We just gotta swing by Alexa’s first so she can change.”
He arches his brows at me, and I kinda do this weird shoulder lift thing while trying not to draw attention to myself.
“We don’t want to keep you guys. Your father and I are going to dinner. It’s the anniversary of our first date.” Ruthie grabs his hand and kisses his cheek.
My heart carves itself out of my chest. He’s taking her to dinner. That doesn’t sound like a man who is trying to leave his wife. I want to scream for Ruthie to stop touching him. To tell her that I’m having his baby, and that it’s me he loves and not her, but I can’t do that.
I can feel his gaze on me as I stare at the floor biting back my tears. Does he know that this is torment for me? Does he even care? His wife just ripped my heart out. This...us...our lies...its’ tearing me apart.
“We should go,” Colter says, and I’m grateful. I need to get out of here. I need away from Ruthie. James too, before I break.
“Happy anniversary,” I mumble and start out the door. I’m halfway to Colter’s Camaro when I hear my name.
“Alexa.”
“What’s my dad want with you?”
“The um car...the car I might get. I asked if he’d look at it for me.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I wait for Rochelle to get in and close the door before I turn back to him.
“What is it?”
“Where are you guys going?”
“Why do you care?”
“Lex, you know things are tense right now.”
I want so badly for him to take me in his arms and tell me everything will be okay, but I know he can’t. It’s agony to have him right here and yet so far away. I’m tired of pretending. “I don’t think I can do this. Watching you with her. Not be able to touch you when I want. I love you, but this is too much.”
“You know the score, babe.” He shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah so why do I feel as though I’m on the losing team?”
He steps forward and I step back. My heart is hammering all the way up in my throat. If he touches me it will all be over. The truth will be exposed, and I’ll lose him and Rochelle forever.
Speaking of the wicked cunt. Ruthie steps into the garage. “Everything okay out here?”
I sniffle as he turns to face his wife wishing he’d make a stand and tell her he’s done with her, that he’s going to be with me, but he doesn’t. I don’t know if I’m angry or sad. “Have fun on your date. I hope you have an amazing night.”
“You girls be careful,” she calls out, and I look back just in time to watch her plant a big kiss on his lips. The same mouth that feeds me such beautiful lies. I want to ask her how my pussy tastes considering her husband loves it so much, but I refrain.
My only consolation is seeing him tense and pulling away from her, but it changes nothing. She’s still his wife, and I’m on the outside looking in. No matter what he says I’m all alone.
On the way to my apartment I keep trying to figure out an excuse to get out of going to this party and come up with none. Not any that Rochelle would buy or accept without pitching a shit fit, and I can’t blame her. I’ve been a bad friend lately. No friend at all. I hate all the lying. I hate not being able to share how much I love her father. That she’s going to have a sibling. That we’re connected for life.
I go through the motions. Nod when I think I should as Rochelle chatters about Tanner and how I should give him a chance while I get dressed, careful to keep my back to her.