I don’t feel guilty about what I did to her just now, but I do feel uneasy about Matteo. He’s not going to let this go. I don’t know when or how, but he will strike back. Too bad for him, I meant what I said. She is mine to torment, mine alone to control, and I will not let anyone take that away from me.
The gravity of my statement only starts to sink in when I reach my dorm door. I unlock it and walk in. The place is dark and quiet, letting me know Ren is already asleep. Checking the time, I realize it’s after one a.m. already.
Quietly, I head to my room. I briefly think about taking a shower, but that would mean washing Aspen away from my body. The thought of her dried spit remaining on my cock makes the fucker twitch in my pants. God, I’m fucked up. My mind twisted and depraved, but instead of feeling apologetic about it, I embrace it. Embrace the darkness running through my veins.
I was born into this life, and I have no plans on fighting it. Slipping out of my boots, I undress quickly but forgo the shower.
Falling into my bed, I stare at the ceiling, knowing there is no way I’m going to sleep any time soon. So instead, I let earlier run through my mind on repeat…
The way her tongue felt on my cock, her soft whimpers, the tears in her eyes. Her helplessness and the power it gave me in return. Fuck. It’s like a drug I can’t get enough of. My dick is already hard again, and I pull it out of my underwear.
Wrapping my hand around the length, I start stroking myself and imagine going to her room. With the key card, I could slip inside unnoticed, climb into her bed, and pin her beneath me before she even wakes up. Closing my eyes, I picture her lying there, only wearing a flimsy pair of sleeping shorts I can easily pull down before plunging my cock deep inside her tight cunt. I would shove her body into the mattress with each thrust—
My little fantasy comes to an abrupt halt as I wonder if she is even in her room now. Matteo said they fucked with her bed. Surely, she won’t sleep in it after they put a dead rodent in there. But where else would she sleep? Did she get a new bed? New room?
Not knowing is slowly driving me insane, and no matter how hard I stroke my cock, I can’t get back into it.
“Fuck.” Climbing out of bed, I fix my boxers and pull on the clothes I took off earlier. I pat the pocket to make sure her key card is still there as I leave the room and head across the dorm.
It’s almost three in the morning now, and the corridors are completely void of students and noise. The only sound disturbing the dorm silence is that of my footfalls.
When I get closer to her room at the end of the hall, I notice her blood-soiled mattress and bedding left in the corner. Frowning, I pull the key card out and swipe it through the slide above the knob. The lock disengages, and I push the door open quietly.
Her room isn’t dark, the light in the attached bathroom is on, and the door to it has been left open. My eyes fall on the empty bed. Since the mattress is gone, and the only thing left is the iron rails below. Scanning the rest of the small space, I quickly discover she isn’t here. I check the bathroom and find it empty as well.
Only when I exit the bathroom do I notice the small set of feet sticking out of the shadowed corner. I move closer until I’m at the head of the bed, and that’s when I see her. She’s huddled up behind the bed, her legs drawn up to her chest, with her head resting against the back of the headboard.
Her eyes are closed, but her face still seems pinched, as if she is having a bad dream, or maybe she is just cold since the only thing she has to cover up is a towel.
I shouldn’t care about her comfort or where the fuck she sleeps, but something in the back of my mind is telling me I should. Maybe it’s the part of me that craves control, or maybe it’s something I don’t understand yet. Either way, I have to find a way to make it stop. I can’t afford to have a conscience.
Not now, not ever, and especially not toward Aspen.
14
ASPEN
My eyes fly open, and I’m dragged out of sleep when I hear the sound of the door closing. Immediately, my heart is racing, and I’m wide awake despite being so exhausted I could fall asleep standing up. Panicking, I search for the knife I must have dropped when I dozed off. Sliding my hand across the floor, I search the space beside me and let out a sigh of relief when my fingers slide over the metal.