Her breath is soft as I continue to kiss her freckles.
“I love you, Layla.”
LAYLA
The morning light is flooding in through the bedroom blinds. Rolling to my side, I notice I’m alone in bed, but Carter’s scent still lingers in the room. I must have finally passed out some time late into the night. Each time I would start to fall asleep, Carter would climb on top of me again. It was like he knew what I needed more than I did. He completely owned my body. By the time he was done with me, I felt like every part of me had been worshiped by him. There wasn’t an inch of me he left untouched. Glancing down, I can see the love marks he left all over my well-used body. He even whispered he loved me.
I look at the bedside clock and see it’s already ten o’clock. I stretch out and feel the pleasant ache in my muscles. Slipping to the edge of the bed, I reach for the sheet and wrap it around myself. I make my way through the house and check all the rooms, looking for any sign of Carter. When I get back to the bedroom I plop down on the bed and it causes me to wince. I didn’t notice the ache between my legs at first, but it’s a dull throb now. I’ll need to take some Tylenol.
I snatch my phone off the bedside table and go to call him, but then remember I don’t have his number. Maybe he had to run somewhere, or went to get us breakfast. That’s when I look over and see it. The picture I dropped in the prison four years ago. A picture of him. I had snapped it one day when I was playing around and had kept it close for years. It was always with me. I pick it up and it looks three times more worn than I remember. Carter wears that half-smile that only I could ever get from him. Flipping it over I see he’s written something on the back.
Everything I do is for you.
C.
What does that even mean? I can’t believe he’s left. Lying back on the bed, I pull the sheet to my nose and inhale his scent, trying to fill my lungs with him. I attempt to convince myself he’ll be back any minute now. He wouldn’t leave me after last night. The things he said to me, the way he treated me—like I was his and his alone. At first I was pissed he was here but I knew I was just lying to myself. I kept telling myself I was moving on from him over the years, but I wasn’t. He still entered my mind every day and my obsession with him never lessened with time. The pain did, but not the need or want for him. I’m not sure it ever will after last night.
When my phone goes off I grab it, clicking the accept button as fast as possible, praying it’s him.
“Carter?” I say hurriedly, hearing the panic in my own voice.
“Carter? Who’s this Carter you speak of, Lays?” Jeanette says. At the sound of my friend’s voice, tears spring to my eyes, and I feel the warmth of one slip down my face.
“Lays, you totally slipped out last night and hooked up with someone didn’t you, you little ho bag? Give me the details. Every. Single One.”
Closing my eyes tighter, I try to stop more tears from falling. I know if I start, I may never stop. I’ll just lie in this bed crying forever, until my body can’t produce another tear.
“Get your sweet ass back in here, Mama, I’m not done with that pussy yet,” I hear a man say in the background.
“Hold up! Can’t you see I’m on the phone, you fucking caveman? My vagina needs a freaking break. Doesn’t your jaw hurt by now? And holy fuck, did you take something? How is your cock hard, again? Jesus H. Christ,” Jeanette says in an irritated voice that doesn’t really seem that irritated at all.
“This is all your fault. Five minutes is all the time I’m giving you, Mama. Hop to,” the man I can only assume is Saint says.
“Lays?”
“I need you,” is the only thing I get out between choked sobs.
“I’m there,” Jeanette replies, and the line goes dead. I know she’ll be flying through my door in minutes as she lives just a few streets away.
I give myself over to the tears, and let the sobs take my body. Soon, I feel Jeanette’s arms wrap around me, holding me in silent comfort. I don’t know how long we lie there together but I know she’ll stay with me for as long as I need.
“I have so many secrets,” I finally whisper.
“I know, Lays, I know,” she whispers back.
I roll over to look at her and she wipes the tears from my cheeks.
“You do?” I question, unsure whether she really gets what I mean.
“A sweet girl like you, not having any friends or family is a sign of something wrong. I always thought you were running. At first I thought it was an abusive boyfriend, but I was never really sure. You don’t let men get too close, so it was the best guess I had.”
“You’re one to talk,” I hiccup back at her.
“Never said I didn’t have my own secrets. Maybe that’s why we work so well together. We’re always in the present, neither of us pressing each other about our past because we don’t want to have to answer about our own.” I’d never thought of it like that before, but she’s right. We never talk about our time before we were friends. Now I wonder what her secrets are.
Seeing the question in my eyes, Jeanette responds, “Mine are for another day, when I’m ready.”
“Mm-kay,” is all I say. I trust her to tell me when she’s ready. I wouldn’t want her pushing me about things I wasn’t ready to tell. But I’m ready to talk now. Carter told me last night I was free. I just didn’t know that meant free from him too.