Hard Freak

Wow, I’d done well.

She’d arrived this morning and was staying at a hotel not too far away. She planned to stay a few days.

I replied, telling her I’d do what I could.

I met Crow in the breakfast room. The secret bubbled inside me, wanting to spill out, but I couldn’t tell him at a table full of people. He’d hate that. I was sure he’d have a lot of emotion to process about it.

Instead, I ate my eggs and bacon with a grin.

“What’s up with you, Firecracker?” Elijah said. “You’re grinning like crazy. You and Crow finally sealed the deal?”

“Urgh, don’t be so nosy,” I told him.

I wished we’d sealed the deal. Elijah mentioning it like that just rubbed it in. It was normal that we’d be screwing by now. We’d be unable to leave each other alone, and we definitely wouldn’t be coming down here for breakfast. Some mornings, Rose and Elijah barely made it to breakfast.

After we’d finished eating, I arranged to meet Crow in the lobby. We had no time to lose. Sightseeing awaited us. I grabbed my stuff and rushed back down.

“Another beautiful day in Paris,” I said.

He grabbed my hand, and we started walking. I would never get sick of this, no matter how often we did it.

We’d reached a little park. I had to tell him about his sister, and I didn’t want to put it off any longer. Fear and happiness fought within me. Surely, he’d be pleased. He had to be. His sister was family, and no one wanted to be estranged from their family. I wasn’t even sure where to start. Crow valued his privacy, valued it a lot. But he would want to see his sister.

When we got to a little bridge, I stopped.

“What’s up?” he asked. “Do you want me to take some photos of you?”

“I did something. I hope you don’t mind,” I said. I leaned against the railing, looking into the water. Two people floated by in a little boat beneath us.

He moved to lean on the railing beside me.

“I did some research. And, well, I found someone. I didn’t mean to interfere, but I’ve found your sister. She wants to meet with you. She’s in Paris now, and—”

Crow scared me. The way his face changed. I flinched away from him. Had I done the wrong thing? But, no...

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

“But you want to see her. Surely, after all this time...”

Crow didn’t answer. He didn’t give me time to explain.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I looked up at him, expecting some gentleness to settle on his face.

He shook his head and walked away.

Huh? I understood he was angry, but he was just walking?

“Crow, wait!” I called.

He didn’t even break his stride. He had to turn around, I thought. We were together, and everything was perfect. It couldn’t be destroyed that quickly.

“Crow! I’m sorry. Come back. Listen to me.”

None of my cries reached him.

My heart said to run after him, but my feet wouldn’t move. That look he’d given me would haunt me forever. If I chased him, he’d push me away. I knew that, and I couldn’t stand to have him treat me like that.

I’d wanted to bring light and happiness to his life, but maybe I’d just dug up things that were better left buried. I’d ruined things. I thought I’d done the right thing, but the way he’d looked at me had erased any doubt.

My heart clenched, heavy with fear. Surely, he’d turn around. He wouldn’t just walk away from me. But Crow wasn’t the kind of man who toyed with that kind of thing. As much as I hoped, I knew that if he walked away, he’d keep on walking.

I stood on the bridge watching as he moved into the distance.

Chapter 24

I SPENT THE REST OF the day in my room until it was time to go to the arena. I didn’t want Polly asking what was wrong or any of the others teasing me.

The sun shining outside mocked me. Every dancing ray said, “Remember how happy you were not that long ago?” That sun could shut up. I closed the curtains.

A few times, I picked up my phone to message Cindy. She needed to know that the meeting probably wouldn’t happen. Just picking up my phone made my stomach twist into knots, though. I felt bad for myself, and I felt bad for Crow, but mostly, I felt bad for her. She’d flown all this way, so she obviously wanted to reconcile with him, but I’d given her false hope. I’d planted seeds that would never flower.