Hard Freak

“He told me everything.”

“The two of you must be close.”

“We were.”

I thought we had been. But I’d been wrong, or he’d never have pushed me away so easily. He’d shaken my confidence.

“I wanted to help. That’s why I got in touch with you. But I did the wrong thing.” I kept staring at that coffee. “He hates me now.”

“He doesn’t hate you. He just has his own ways of coping, and those ways hurt people.”

I wanted to ask her so much. Questions about their childhood and what Crow had been like, but I didn’t want to drag up painful memories for her. I’d drink my coffee and leave.

“I feel awful,” I said. “You came all this way for nothing.”

“That was my decision, though. I’m glad you messaged me. At least now I know he has people around him who care. Please, don’t let him push you away. Even if he seems cold or closed off, don’t let him. He needs people, although he’d never admit it.”

I smiled because I wasn’t sure what to say. I could stay close to him, but I couldn’t do any more than that. I wasn’t sure how much I could take of him pushing me away, either.

“Are you going home soon?” I asked.

“Tomorrow,” she said. “I have to get back to work.”

She poured her tea. Suddenly, she looked up. I followed her gaze.

Crow had walked into the cafe. He looked around as though he was searching for someone. Was he here to see Cindy? He had to be.

“Maybe I should leave,” I said. “I don’t want to intrude.”

But Crow walked over to our table and sat down before I had a chance to leave.

Chapter 28

“WE NEED TO TALK,” HE said.

“I’m just about to go,” I said. “I’ll give the two of you some time alone.” I stood up and grabbed my bag.

“No. Stay,” he said.

This just got awkward. The three of us sat at the table, no one saying a word. The clink of china and the conversations carried on around us, but at this table, it was like life had stopped. I wanted to say something to break that tension, but what could I say?

The waiter came back to take Crow’s order.

“Nothing for me,” he said.

That seemed to break the spell over us. I needed to force things into motion.

“You have something to say,” I said to Crow when the waiter had moved off. “You came here to say it, so say it.”

He stared at his hands. The noise around us seemed to get louder. Finally, he looked up.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Cindy. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “They were hard times. Everything was so confused. I didn’t understand things then, but I know now that everything you did, you did to protect me.”

He nodded. “Still, I did wrong.”

I wanted to reach out and hold him, but he needed to work through this himself. I wasn’t even sure I had the right to touch him any longer.

“You didn’t do wrong,” Cindy said. “We’d been abandoned. There seemed to be no way out, then you saw a way, and you took it. That wasn’t wrong. It was an incredibly tough decision.”

Cindy took a gulp of her tea. I picked up my glass of water. I wasn’t sure where to go from here.

Crow asked Cindy about her life. I relaxed a little, feeling like we were on steadier ground, but they really needed to be alone.

“I’m working as a personal assistant. It’s a great job. Not nearly as exciting as the rock star life, but I like it.”

Crow smiled. “Boyfriend?”

She shook her head, but in a way that suggested there was someone in her life. Maybe not officially yet.

“And you?” she asked.

“Drummer. Rock star.”

“Girlfriend?” she asked, giving me a quick grin.

My heart froze up. How would he answer? Was I still his girlfriend? Or was I an ex now? Did he even want to salvage things?

He looked up. “I had the most amazing woman in the world, but I’m not sure if I’ve screwed things up beyond redemption with her.”

I blinked away the tears that came to my eyes and reached out for his hand. That was all I wanted, an opening, a chance to make this work.