I shook my head. "It reminds me of how damn lucky I am to still be alive." I kissed her knuckles and then leaned over and kissed her mouth, my emotions building. "Maybe seeing it again will chase away some of the ghosts from that night and I won't wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat."
"You need counseling to help you get over it, Josh," Ella said softly. "It was a traumatic event. Someone you knew died."
"I barely knew Terry," I said. "I lost more men in Afghanistan."
"Your own life was at risk, though," Ella added. "And your brother was seriously injured. It was traumatic and you probably have PTSD to some degree. You should talk to someone."
I nodded, knowing she was right, but not liking to admit I couldn't handle it. That was stupid. I would be advising someone in my shoes to get some counseling.
"You're right," I said and kissed her knuckles again. "When we get back, I will see a therapist."
"You promise?"
I nodded. "I promise."
Then, we drove off and I watched the scene disappear in my rear-view mirror, glad that I'd stopped by, and happy once more to be alive and with Ella.
"Thanks for taking me there," she said softly.
"Why?"
"Because it shows me that you're letting me in," she said.
"I want you in," I said and squeezed her hand. "All the way in."
She smiled and turned back to watch the road as we arrived at the coast.
5
Ella
We spent a few hours at the beach, walking hand in hand along the sand and enjoying the sound of the waves and the bright sunshine. We actually did stop at one of the small food carts parked along the road that bordered the beach and ate fish tacos. They were delicious -- made all the better by the fresh air and sunshine.
Then, we drove back, taking a different route home so Josh didn't have to see the accident site again, arriving at the house later in the afternoon. Josh's brothers were still outside, talking and laughing, drinking a beer together. They were a handsome bunch, and any woman would be lucky to snag one of them for a husband. I gripped Josh's hand and leaned in close for a kiss as we walked out of the house, feeling a surge of appreciation that we met and fell in love.
"There they are -- the two lovebirds," David called out, raising his beer. "Pull up a chair, Ella. Josh, get your woman a drink and join us."
I smiled and joined the four brothers while Josh got me a beer.
"So, what did you think of Venice Beach? Did it live up to your expectations?" David asked, his expression eager to he
ar how the day went.
"It did," I said. "It was wonderful to be able to walk along the surf in December. I haven't been away from the cold at Christmas and New Years for ages. It's really nice."
"You guys should move here after you're married. Josh could work out of the LA office. We could have family dinners. You two going to start a family right away?"
I glanced at Josh. "We haven't got that far yet," I said and took the beer from him when he came over to where we were sitting. "We're planning to buy an apartment and fix it up, make it our own first."
"What about the house on Montauk? You two going to live there?" Nash asked.
Josh sat beside me and reached over to take my hand. "We like it, but it's not practical for us at the moment. We're both working and need to be close to Manhattan. I don't want to be commuting every day. Maybe one day, when we can work from home, it might be an idea."
"I still want you to come live here," David said. "The LA office could be a headquarters for MBS. There's nothing that says it has to be in Manhattan. You were bitching to me about the cold winters."
"We have to get married first," I said and laughed. "We'll see how things go. I sure could get used to the weather here."
"Me too," Josh said. "It would be nice."