Her advice?
DANA: Do you want to see her again? Do you want to sleep with her again? Do you want to cook her supper again and spend time on the beach with her again? Do you want her in your bed again? Do you want to wake up with her again? If you answered yes to all those questions, then for fuck's sake, don't let her go.
Of course
, I answered yes to each and every one of those questions.
LUKE: I do but she's right. Our lives are going on separate paths. There's no future for us, so why get more involved?
DANA: You can always change plans.
I didn't respond. I wasn't going to change my plans. My cat was almost finished, and it made me incredibly sad to imagine not going on my trip around the world. To me, it was the one thing I couldn’t change. I could delay it if there were problems with the deal going through, but I couldn't not go.
At the same time, I felt this deep-seated knot of something in my chest at the prospect of not seeing Alexa again.
Why couldn't I have it all?
I didn't text Alexa. Instead, I went for a run. I needed to work up a sweat and clear my mind. After I had a shower and cooled off, I spent the afternoon at the office, going over last-minute changes in the presentation we were going to make to the buyers. I outlined our projections for the next year and detailed how much the company had grown over the previous years.
It was pretty much a done deal, but we had to cross all the T’s and dot all the I's before we could sign final papers. The other investors had to go to their own investors and justify the price they were going to offer. We had to make sure the deal was worth the dollar amount that was floated as a way to tempt us into taking their offer.
The fact that Felicia's brother Harrison had been one of the investors had worried me at first, but after he expressed concerns, the others convinced him to stay and things were back on track.
Thankfully…
* * *
After spending the afternoon going over the presentation, I went for a drink at a local pub with John, during which time we discussed the deal and the trip.
“So,” he said, his eyes narrowed. “What's up with you and Alexa?"
I took a drink of my beer and considered John. His expression was far too interested.
"We broke it off. Or should I say, she did."
"What?" he said with a frown. "What happened? I thought for sure the two of you were going to get together…"
I shrugged. "How could we? I'm leaving and she's starting her PhD in a couple of weeks."
"So what? You can still see each other. She can fly to meet us when she can. You like her,” he said and thumped his palm on the tabletop. “I know it. More than any other woman you've been with since Jenna."
"You and Dana seemed determined to match me up with her."
"Dana and I are smart cookies. You like her. More than usual."
I didn’t respond.
He was right. But it was unlikely that we could make it work. Why cause each other needless pain? The closer we got, the more it would hurt when the time came to say goodbye.
"Enough with the matchmaking. Things are over between us. We've got other things to worry about, like the sale of Chatter and the Phoenix build."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," John said and took a drink of his beer. "Whatever. You'll regret it if you let things slide with her. And that's all I'm saying."
He stood up. "Another beer?"
I nodded. "Hit me."
Then, he and I proceeded to get drunk.