I frowned. “What?” I stirred my latte and tried to comprehend how Leah thought I should forgive Beckett. “Why should I forgive him? He lied to me, Leah.”
“Sure he did, but can you blame him? Look at it from his perspective.”
I shook my head, at a loss for words for a moment. Leah would forgive him?
“Why should I forgive him?” I asked, sitting back. “Tell me. I’m really curious what rationalization you have.”
“I think you’re being too hard on him,” she said. “I stayed behind last night and talked to him and Brandon. He was really, really upset, Mira. I mean, heartbroken.”
“Sure he was. His supply of free pussy was cut off,” I said sourly.
She made a face. “Come on,” she said, her voice dismissive. “He could have any woman he wanted. Not only is he a freakin’ Norse God, he’s rich as sin. And smart.”
“He lied, Leah. Some things are unforgivable.”
“You lie all the time. We all do. White lies meant to make things easier for us and everyone else. Your sister asks if the dress makes her ass look big? You don’t say yes. You say how great the color looks on her skin. The neighbor asks if you think his bug-ugly baby is cute? You nod and smile.”
I scoffed. “Lying about knowing me and about Dan is a bit different than a white lie about a dress.”
She shrugged. “Only in degree. Not kind. The intention was the same. Look,” she said and leaned forward. “He got your letters, and fell in love with you after reading them and seeing your pictures.”
“He has pictures of me?” I said, shocked, not letting the words fell in love with you hit my brain just yet.
She made a face and covered her mouth. “Oh, you didn’t know?” She shrank down in her chair. “There were a few pictures of you in with the letters. He kept those.” She smiled sheepishly.
I sighed heavily. “So the moment he walked into the bar that day, he knew exactly who I was. He knew Dan was my husband, and he knew I was a widow.”
She nodded. “He went to Oceanside to ask the manager for Scott and Jeanne’s address so he could go and shake their hand, thank them for Dan’s sacrifice, give them the letters but when he saw you, he was struck. He couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to get to know you. He said he went off the rails at that point.”
“He sure did,” I said, huffing. I remembered back to that night and how hot he was, and how fun he was. How sexy he was. How persistent he was.
How much I enjoyed him.
I enjoyed the fact that he was really trying hard to amuse me and get me to have a drink with him. There was no mistaking his interest and his attraction to me. After so long without much in the way of male attention – other than from men I had no interest in – it was a real ego boost. Plus, he was really, really sexy and good looking.
We did hit it off right away.
Was that because he already knew who I was? Or was it plain old sexual chemistry?
From the moment I met him until the day he left me with only a small note scribbled on his hotel notepad, everything was so easy. So good.
Not just good. Hot. When I was with Beckett, I was ecstatic. I laughed, I smiled, I had many, many great orgasms. With Beckett, I felt like someone who had been starved and was finally sitting down to eat a four course gourmet meal.
But he knew everything and pretended to know nothing.
“Give him a chance. He’s not a bad guy, Mira. Really. Brandon thinks the world of him.”
“Convince me why I should give him a second chance.”
She nodded, happy to do so. She held up her hand and ticked off each finger. “One, he was a Marine. Which means, like, he’s super strong, loyal, patriotic, dedicated and mentally tough. Two, his company makes high tech communications equipment to help soldiers on the battlefield and train them to use it. He could do anything else with his smarts, but he chooses to give back. Three, he’s really impressive, with a degree in symbolic systems or something from Stanford. That means lots of brains. Four, he’s heroic. He went to Afghanistan to test the technology which is intended to save lives and almost died. He almost died, Mira.”
“Dan did die.”
There. I said it. That was what I couldn’t get my mind around. “Beckett was there when Dan died,” I added, my voice catching. “He was the reason. Dan went in to save him.”
“They were both doing their jobs,” Leah said and folded her arms, staring at me. “That’s what Brandon said. He wasn’t supposed to tell me but they were doing classified stuff. That’s why Beckett couldn’t tell you the truth.”
“He could have told me,” I said, not willing to accept that. Not just yet.