“Melodie, can I see you in my office, please?” Cole asked, his voice drifting through the intercom on her desk.
Cole’s businesslike tone grated on her nerves and added to the growing frustration that had taken hold since Cole’s immediate withdrawal from her after they’d had sex in Thornton’s library Saturday night. It was a normal response she should have grown used to, but she could have sworn the way he’d held her, kissed her, and touched her had been different somehow. Obviously, she’d been wrong.
The Russell case was over and, apparently, so were they.
“I’ll be right there,” she said, equally careful to keep her tone impersonal as she finished typing up the final report for the Russell case to take in for Cole’s signature.
Since that evening two nights ago, her emotions had run the gamut from confusion and misery, to familiar disappointment, to flat-out aggravation that he could so easily shut her out once again with no explanation. She’d done everything in her power to show him that what they shared went beyond a shameless seduction and hot, satisfying sex, but was rather a culmination of chemistry, caring, and deep devotion. For both of them.
Not that he’d ever admit to needing her, or anyone else for that matter. For anything. And especially not for the kind of intimacy that meant exposing deeper layers of emotion and vulnerabilities. He was still struggling to keep her at arm’s length, when it was the last thing she wanted or needed from him.
Determined to face him with her newly acquired confidence in place, she gathered the Russell file and headed into Cole’s office. He sat behind his desk, shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows, looking gorgeous and much too serious when she ached to see him smile at her, tease her, kiss her. It was as if their time together hadn’t existed, and while she resented how effortlessly he could dismiss their affair, she refused to pressure him for more than he was willing to give her, no matter that her own heart was already his.
“Here’s the final report and billing on the Russell case,” she said, setting the paperwork on his desk in front of him. “Elena certainly seemed very pleased that we found the letter.”
Cole nodded in agreement as he scrawled his signature across the final invoice, avoiding her gaze as he’d done all morning. “I’m sure the correspondence will go a long way in restoring her personal and professional reputation.”
“For her sake, I hope so,” she said, meaning it. She genuinely liked Elena and wished her the best. “But I do feel bad that things didn’t work out for her and Jerry. There was a lot of passion between them in the letters they wrote to each other.”
“Sometimes passion isn’t enough to sustain a relationship,” he said, thumbing through the paperwork in the Russell file to make a notation on one of the pages.
His matter-of-fact tone caused a sharp, twisting pain beneath her breast. He was talking about the two of them, she knew, and decided to throw out her own opinion on the matter. “No, I suppose not, but it’s definitely a foundation on which to build a meaningful relationship. Passion can lead to love if the couple are willing to work at it.”
Finally, he met her gaze, his vacant expression masking any emotions he might be feeling. “I guess that wasn’t the case with Elena and Jerry.”
And a relationship wasn’t in their future, either, she read into his clever, double-edged statement. That easily, he’d completely severed the tentative, fragile bonds of the relationship they’d developed, shattering any last vestiges of hope she might have harbored and slapping her with a shocking dose of reality.
It was truly over between them.
She swallowed hard to keep her voice from betraying her internal pain. “You said you needed to see me for something?”
“A couple of things, actually.” He waved a hand at the seat in front of his desk, his blue-eyed gaze briefly latching onto hers. “Sit down.”
Too curious to find out what he had on his mind, she did as he requested.
A distant smile made an appearance. “I wanted to thank you for your help on the Russell case and give you this.” He tossed an envelope across his desk for her to take. “You did a great job on Saturday night and I appreciate your professionalism.”
Her professionalism? Dread swirled in her belly as she retrieved the envelope, opened it and pulled out a check for more than her normal monthly salary. Not knowing what to think anymore where Cole was concerned, her gaze shot to his. “What’s this for?”
“A bonus for a job well done.” He leaned back in his chair, the gesture putting even more physical and emotional distance between them. “You deserve it.”
Fury welled up in her, but she kept a tight rein on her temper, resisting the impulse to smack Cole with the envelope clutched in her hand. She didn’t want his gratitude or money for something that had been more than a job to her. She felt cheap and used and discarded and wondered if this was Cole’s way of assuaging his own guilt for giving into temptation and fucking her.
With her mind and stomach still reeling from the personal blow, she managed to choke out, “Thank you,” and started to rise.
He stopped her before she could leave. “There’s one other thing.” He shifted uneasily, and a muscle in his jaw flexed. “We didn’t use a condom Saturday night.”
The switch in topic to more intimate matters startled her. The formal note to his voice and the way he was treating the entire incident like some kind of business transaction made her feel as cold as the money in her hand.
Their night of unprotected sex hadn’t escaped her notice. Neither did the worried look currently etching Cole’s features and darkening his eyes. After raising his brother and sister, he obviously wasn’t eager to repeat the process with a family of his own. Not that she’d ever make those kinds of demands of him if he wasn’t willing to give of his own accord. He’d made her no promises, and she would never use an unplanned pregnancy against a man to get what she wanted.
She wanted Cole out of love, not an obligation he felt bound to honor. And she didn’t think he was capable of giving her the former.
She stared at him, unable to stop the hurt and anger that flowed through her, but she did her damnedest not to let him see her pain. “How about I let you know when I start my period?” she suggested.
He released a deep exhale that did nothing to ease the tension knotting across his stiff shoulders. “That would be great.”
Pulling a sheaf of papers from a pile by his arm, he handed them her way, dismissing the topic that obviously made him very uncomfortable. “Here are the payables you needed me to approve for payment and a few statements that need to be filed.”