He nods.
I figured, but I still feel awkward hearing it. “I haven’t.”
A hint of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I know.”
Instead of discussing it further, he kisses me. It feels different skin to skin, somehow even more intimate as my breasts press against his warm skin. My nerve endings come alive as his fingertips skim my bare sides, and the throbbing between my legs begins anew.
He pulls away a moment later, unfastening the button of his jeans. I swallow hard as he slips out of them, and I climb on the bed, sitting back on my heels, uncertain.
Then Vince is on the bed with me, and I’m relieved we were too busy kissing to turn the light on. He takes my hands and tugs me close, and then he kisses me again. He keeps holding one of my hands, but he drops the other and lets his hand drift down between my legs. My knees spread a little wider as he breaches my entrance, and I gasp against his mouth when he suddenly rubs my unprepared clit. Pleasure shoots through me, and it runs over me like a steady stream as he continues to play with me, never breaking our kiss.
It’s pandemonium in my body as I try to keep pace kissing him, but I keep breaking away, closing my eyes, riding the wave of pleasure moving through my body. Everything tightens and I can’t do it anymore; I can’t focus on kissing, and he doesn’t make me. He uses his free hand to gently push me back and I follow his lead, lying down and spreading my legs for him.
It hits hard and I cry out, my body arching up off the bed as ecstasy shoots through me.
I collapse against the bed, breathing heavy. Vince moves between my legs, tugging my panties all the way off. He’s still in his boxers, but the way his eyes are devouring me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be.
“Do you have a condom?” I ask.
Relief shows on his face before he can wipe it away, and I can’t help but smile as he hops off the bed to retrieve it.
I allow myself a moment of anxiety while he prepares. I’m still not sure I’m ready, but I don’t know if I ever will be with him. There’s no point tormenting both of us for some arbitrary period of time, knowing he may never be able to offer me the security I would want to actually do this. If I’m going to do it anyway, and I’m pretty sure I am, it may as well be now.
Climbing back on the bed, he moves between my legs. His hands run over the outside of my thighs and he looks me in the eye. “You’re sure?”
I nod, as sure as I probably ever will be.
He leans down and kisses me again, his hand moving between my legs again. This time he isn’t there to toy with me for pleasure, but to prepare my body for invasion. The kisses help ease my nerves—just light, sweet kisses. Eventually they change, become more demanding. He draws me into the excitement as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, filling me with a hit of that yearning I felt the first time.
He withdraws his fingers and a moment later I feel the head of his dick push against me. I suck in a breath and let it out, too distracted to keep kissing. I grasp his shoulders as he comes down on top of me, easing inside of me. I shift, already uncomfortable, and he pauses.
“You okay?” he asks, low and husky.
“Mmhmm,” I murmur, but I’m tense as hell.
“Relax,” he whispers, not moving any deeper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I try to relax, but it’s not an easy thing to do. A few steady breaths later and he pushes a little more of himself inside me. Experimentally, I wrap my legs around him, opening up my hips a little more. He slides an inch deeper and there’s pain, but I bury my face in his shoulder so he won’t see if he pulls back to look at me. “It’s okay,” I murmur, despite the noises I can’t stop making. Instead of pushing any harder, he pulls back. I think he’s going to stop, but then he pushes back in, that time pushing all the way inside of me.
“Ouch, goddamn it,” I say through clenched teeth, making truly ugly faces against his shoulder. I’m really glad he can’t see them.
“Are you okay?” he asks again.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I tell him, despite my body’s insistence otherwise.
He tries to go easy on me, moving slowly for a few minutes, but it’s still uncomfortably tight when he pushes inside me. Eventually my body adjusts to the invasion, and I realize it’s starting to feel better. Noticing, he picks up the pace, and then it starts to feel even better than before.