That wasn’t surprising, considering the last time she’d seen me, I’d still been weak and kind of broken. Too skinny and too slow from all the time I’d been in a coma. It had been a tough haul, getting my muscle memory back.
Nathan was quiet for a few moments, and I saw Monroe squeeze his hand. Something flickered in the depths of his eyes, and I knew he was thinking back to another party. Back to another night when our world had exploded into shattering glass, twisted metal, and for me, scrambled brains.
“Trev, I’ve only got tonight, man. Tomorrow we’re with my family and then Monday we’re heading back to New York. You gotta come. It will be like old times. The whole gang back together.”
“Hey!” Monroe punched him in the shoulder, a big smile on her face. “What about me?”
He laughed and kissed her. “New friends too.”
They looked like they had the world by the balls, and watching them, I realized that for the first time ever, I was jealous of my buddy.
Jealousy didn’t taste so good.
“New York looks good on you,” I managed to say.
Nate grinned. “It’s so much better than we even thought it could be. Dude, I busked in Times Square last week. Times Square! The vibe, the scene…it’s what we thought it would be but way better.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “When you finally get your ass out there, you’ll see. We’re going to rule, man.”
I nodded, tried to smile even, but it was hard to ramp up my enthusiasm level when I had no idea if my head was going to explode.
“Are you okay?” Monroe asked softly, her hand on my arm.
I hadn’t told Nate about my seizure and instructed Link not to say anything either. I was still dealing with what it meant, what it could mean, and I didn’t want to deal with Nate’s guilt too.
I knew he felt it.
I knew he felt it twist like a knife, but I was exhausted enough, and taking on the burden of his guilt would probably send me over the cliff I’d been straddling for days now.
“I’m good,” I replied, fake smile pasted to my face.
“So are you coming or what?” Nate asked.
I glanced toward my sister. She was watching some stupid bachelorette show, the volume level was at eardrum-damage, and her everybody-hates-me scowl was getting old.
“What’s up with Taylor?” Nate asked.
“Grounded.”
“What did she do?”
“Nothing that Trevor hasn’t done before,” she shouted from the family room. Man, my sister had some ears on her.
Taylor pretty much made my decision. “Let me grab my cell.”
The ride out to the bush party didn’t take long. We lived in the middle of nowhere, yes, but bush parties always took place in the forest behind the old abandoned drive-in on the edge of town. The cops usually knew what was up and kept an eye out, but unless things got out of control, they left us alone. Wasn’t like there was anything else to do.
By the time we got there, it was dark and the glow off the tops of the trees could be seen from the road. That meant some kind of bonfire.
“Lots of cars,” I said as we pulled up beside a beat-up and rusted Chevy. I recognized it as belonging to Brent, our old bass player. A year older than us, he’d already graduated and surprised the hell out of everyone when he up and joined the army. I hadn’t seen him in ages.
“He’s on leave,” Nate said as we piled out of his car. “And he’s gonna be stoked that you came out.”
I was happy to see the guys. It was the other stuff that I was concerned about. Already stressed, I worried that my words would come out wrong or even worse, there would be whispers behind my back about the seizure.
I had no idea who knew and who didn’t other than Link. What if I had another one? That thought made me sick, and I tried to ignore how my stomach was all twisted, but it was damn hard.
“Come on. There’s Brent.” Nate nudged me.
I could leave right now. I know Nate would take me home if I asked him to, and he wouldn’t ask questions either. But that sucked almost as much as being here and being afraid.