“Not surprised,” Taylor said slowly.
And then she pinned me with a look that wasn’t easy or light. It was all Taylor and all 115 pounds of attitude. “If you ever do that again, I will hunt you down and kick your effing ass.”
“Language, Taylor.”
“Whatever, butthead.”
Taylor got up. “Your dad says that you have to go, Everly.”
Everly’s eyes were on me when she whispered, “Okay. Can I have one more minute with him?”
When the door closed behind Taylor, Everly collapsed on the bed, curling up against me. It felt amazing to have her there, even though I was tired as hell and hating everything about where I was.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“He was there,” she said softly. “In Baton Rouge. I called him when you fell. When the paramedics came. I was just so scared, like I was frozen or something, and it was automatic, you know? I just…wanted my dad.”
A heartbeat passed.
“But now…”
I hugged her. She was delicate and small, and I hated that sad girl was back. Hated that I couldn’t make things okay for her.
“Now I have to go home with him, and I don’t want to, because after all this time, there’s no more hiding, and I know it’s crazy, but I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I’m not.” She blew out a ragged breath. “He knows that I know. He wants to talk.”
“But isn’t that what you want? No more lies?”
“I thought so, but right now, I’m more scared of the truth than I am of being angry at his lies, and I wish…I wish that I never called him. All I wanted was the truth, for him to stop lying to all of us, but now…now I don’t know what I want. I’m afraid of the truth. How screwed up is that?”
“It’s not screwed up. It’s just real. It’s how you feel.”
“I have to go, Trevor,” she whispered.
“I know.”
“Call me when you get home tomorrow?”
I nodded. “First list on my thing.”
She bent over and pressed one last kiss on my mouth. “Okay,” she breathed against me.
And then she was gone.
It took all of two seconds before my words went around my brain again. I thought about how her eyes got all shiny and how she’d smiled at me in a way I recognized. Because it was the same way my mom smiled at me when she didn’t know what else to do or say.
The thing is the part of my brain that controls anger got damaged in the accident, and right now, I needed some kind of control, but that wasn’t happening. I could feel this wall of emotion sliding over me like a hot, wet cloth, running from the top of my head all the way down my body. I clenched my hands into fists and slammed my head back onto the pillow, because I knew it was going to be bad. And then I pretty much lost it.
Chapter Twenty-four
Everly
We drove home in silence, the two of us acting as if everything was fine, as if we were strangers sharing a ride home. As if the last twelve hours hadn’t happened. As if the last year hadn’t happened.
I should be so lucky, I thought.
For miles I watched the road, that anger that had been buried inside me growing as fast as the weeds in Mr. Harrison’s backyard. It got so big that my hands shook because I couldn’t keep it contained.
But I wasn’t ready. Not yet. So I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, as if not seeing him would help. What a joke. Nothing helped, and nothing would ever be the same again.