Erin’s face softened. “You said he has PTSD,” she said.
I nodded, and leaned back in her chair.
“My dad was a vet and he had that same look on his face when he thought no one was looking. You do too a little bit, but Caleb’s face really reminds me of my dad’s sometimes.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching over to lay my hand on hers. She sighed and twisted her hand around so we held hands.
“Thank you,” she replied, giving me a sad smile. A moment passed in which Erin seemed to be deep in thought. “Well, if we’re laying all our cards on the table, then I have something to tell you. I fibbed a little when I said I was on vacation. I mean, I am technically on vacation, but I actually live in Vegas. But I’m sure you already knew that. Right?”
Sheepishly, I said, “Yeah, I do.”
“I’m you don’t know why I decided to lie. You can’t know, because I haven’t told anyone,” Erin said. She let out a long sigh. “I told you I recently broke up with my boyfriend, right?”
I nodded, listening intently.
“Well, after that, I felt really jaded. Braxton and I didn’t have a perfect relationship by any means. He was kind of a shithead actually, but that didn’t stop it from really hurting when I found out he betrayed me. After that, I decided I was going to leave men alone for the next year. No dating, no having sex.”
“You kind of broke the no sex thing,” I said, giving her what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
She smiled back. “Yeah, no kidding! I wasn’t expecting to meet you and Caleb. I wasn’t expecting to be so enticed by your world. And I really wasn’t expecting to like you.”
Though it had been on my mind practically since we first met, I didn’t plan to ask so soon. But I did. “Have you given any thought to the fact that there might be something here? Something between the three of us?” I asked.
Erin remained silent, contemplative.
I went on, “You just said you like us, right? Well, I like you and I know that Caleb does too.”
“I don’t know how it would even work,” she said with a sigh, though she had a wistful expression on her face as if she was imagining it.
“Like any other relationship,” I explained, giving her hand a small squeeze. “Except there would be two men. You could date both Caleb and me. He and I are platonic, but we’re close. We don’t get jealous of each other and only want the other person to be happy.”
My voice dropped an octave as I said, “Erin, I know we just met, but you make us happy.”
“You make me happy too,” she admitted. She seemed so unsure. I didn’t like seeing her like that, like she felt overwhelmed.
Changing the subject slightly, Erin said, “I can’t say I’m too upset that you looked into me. You didn’t know me and just wanted to protect your best friend. I’d do the same for my friends too. And it makes me happy that you’re so protective of Caleb. He’s lucky to have you. But I have to admit, my head is just spinning right now. I have so much to think about.”
“It’s a lot,” I admitted with a chuckle.
“Yeah,” she said, “it really is.”
We sat at the table for at least another hour, talking about ourselves, our pasts, just getting to know each other, but eventually we had to part ways for the time being.
We shared a lingering kiss before we left the coffee shop. When the kiss ended, Erin’s eyes were wide. Hopeful. It made me feel hopeful too.
Erin
Expensive suits, helicopters, fancy hotel rooms; typically I wasn’t someone who found myself impressed by money. I wasn’t now either, which would never change. But money wasn’t the reason I liked Caleb and Jackson, not by a long shot. And sure, they were both damn good to look at, but that wasn’t it either.
No, it was because they were caring and attentive and kind. I loved the bond they shared, the way they always looked out for each other and had for the last fifteen years.
I wasn’t kidding when I told Jackson it was a lot to think about. It was. My life would completely change if I started to date them for real. Sure, I’d have to do some research into healthy polyamorous relationships, but at the moment, that didn’t make me nervous. No, what made me nervous was what people would say. Would they think I was greedy? Would they think I was a slut?
Hell, what would my mom say? I knew she wanted me to be happy, but being with two guys might be a lot for her.
In the past, I was normally pretty good about letting what people said roll off my shoulders, but because this was all so new, I knew I was going to be sensitive about it. Maybe I wouldn’t say anything about it until I was more sure of everything, that way I’d have time to get used to it all.