“Because he’s your family and you love him. Because feeling like you’re enough has no age limit. We all want that.”
He frowned. His forehead wrinkled, and I used my thumbs to straighten it out again before going back to his hair.
“How do you make me spill my secrets?”
I grinned. “I’m just that good, baby.”
Hutch laughed, then sobered. “We’re in so much fucking trouble.”
“I know.” I covered his eyes with my palm, and when I moved it again, Hutch had closed them. He rested while I scratched his scalp, played with his hair, hoped he felt cared for and loved.
Eventually, his breathing evened out. I watched him for a little while, even though it made me feel slightly like a stalker, and then I leaned my head against the back of the couch, closed my eyes, and, still comforting him, went to sleep.
15
Hutch
I couldn’t believe I’d fallen asleep, but it didn’t last long. A couple of hours tops. Ryder’s hand was still tangled in my hair, but he’d stopped caressing me. When I let my eyes flutter open, it was to see he was out to the world.
His mouth was slightly open, his lips soft, his face relaxed. He was still sitting up, his head tilted back against the couch, dark lashes fanned out against his face.
He was beautiful, and there was no denying how much I wanted him. Not because of his looks, but because of the way he made me feel.
Tonight he’d given me exactly what I needed. He’d just…been there. Treated me as if I mattered to him, made me feel like there was nowhere he’d rather be. How sad was it that I needed that so much, but I did, and it was easier for me to acknowledge because of him.
His left arm lifted in his sleep. He scratched his face, then lowered it again, his hand resting on my chest.
I didn’t let myself think before I tangled our fingers together, drawing circles on his palm with my thumb. I loved the roughness of his hands, the callouses on his fingers and the way they rubbed against my skin.
It wasn’t long before his eyes opened and he looked down at me—tired, but also with so much naked need it reached inside me, wrapped around my heart, made my blood warm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Ryder didn’t reply, just held my gaze, our fingers dancing together as we held hands.
I missed the contact when he let go, but Ryder didn’t pull back, instead cupping my face, gliding those callouses along my cheek, my jaw, my earlobe, my mouth. When his thumb traced my bottom lip, I let my tongue sneak out and lick it, then sucked it in. It was a dangerous game, one I shouldn’t let myself play, but I didn’t have it in me to stop, to pull back, and walk away.
Blood rushed to my groin, my cock plumping up, a hard throb beneath my jeans. Ryder’s dick lengthened beneath my head, the bulge growing as I sucked his thumb like it was his cock in my mouth. I couldn’t stop myself from turning my head, nuzzling in, wishing he wasn’t wearing jeans so I could more easily bury my face between his legs.
Don’t do this…
Ryder hissed…tensed…then let go. I ached—both my dick and deep inside with need for him—and I couldn’t hold back any longer.
It was frenzied from there, Ryder pulling me while I pushed up toward him. I was straddling his lap, his hands kneading my ass, our mouths colliding, before I could let myself acknowledge what was happening.
I pushed my tongue past his lips, rode his lap, rubbed against his prick as his arms wrapped around me, hands running up and down my back.
He tasted like I knew he would—like sunshine and good food and every happy memory I had all rolled into one. Ryder growled into my mouth, and I tangled my hand in his hair, pulling just enough that it would burn. He pushed me back, but I leaned in again, chasing his mouth with mine. Ryder smiled, and I kissed it, letting him taste my chuckle before we were wildly making out again.
This time when he pushed me back, I let him. His hands went to my shirt, ripping it open. Ryder shoved it off my shoulders, halfway down before we couldn’t keep our mouths off each other’s again, some kind of energy pulling them together as we both fought to control the kiss.
There was an urgency between us, this truth that if we slowed to let ourselves think, reality would come crashing in and we’d stop. But I couldn’t stop, felt like it might kill me if we did, so I turned off my brain and just…let myself have the one thing I wanted more than anything else.