He had never once looked at a woman in all that time and wanted her. His body hadn’t reacted. Not in all the time he’d carefully researched every sexual pleasure known to man in order to be a good lover for his mate. He wanted to bring her the maximum amount of ecstasy one could have with sex, so he had studied meticulously in every country he’d been in. In every century. His body hadn’t reacted, but his mind had taken in everything, watching what women seemed to like the best. What made them beg for more. What made them want to please their partners as well.

Now that he had Adalasia, just the thought of doing any of those things he had learned to her had his body reacting. Looking at her had his body reacting. Thinking of her, his cock seemed to grow thick and hard and reactionary. That made him want to smile as well. It seemed a lifemate had much more control over him than he had thought possible. He didn’t mind in the least. It made him feel alive. He felt as if every cell in his body had suddenly awakened after a very long slumber.

He touched her hair, that long thick mass she liked to keep in a braid, which he liked to pull out and let loose and free. She gave him a look as if she might protest, but she never did; instead, she laughed. She laughed. He loved that about her. That laugh. The sound was so sweet, and it resonated deep inside him.

Sandu was well aware love started in one’s mind. It stayed there. Good times, bad times, if you wanted that love to remain alive, you had to keep it forever safe in the mind. He’d been alive too long not to have certain knowledge of that. Still, he was Carpathian and he knew about souls. He lifted Adalasia’s much smaller hand and fit it into his palm. She had guarded his soul. She’d been born to guard his soul. She’d been born over and over, and she’d handed his soul to her daughter’s keeping when she gave birth to her. He’d never thought how that would work. How the guardian of his soul would have to be born repeatedly. Her soul. His soul.

Had that left her mother an empty shell? She had her body and heart, but she passed their souls to her daughter at birth. That was why she couldn’t read the tarot cards the way Adalasia could. Not because she hadn’t when she was younger, but because once she gave birth to Adalasia, she’d passed the torch. The cards knew. The goddess card knew. It was heartbreaking.

He knew it wasn’t the same for all lifemates, but in this case, when they were tasked to guard the gate of the demon, the women in the family had lived a very difficult life. He hoped the men they chose to go the rest of their life with them had been good to them. Had loved them and been a good companion to them. Surely the cards would have guided them.

There was a gentle stirring in his mind. A flutter, much like butterfly wings. Sandu? Do you have need of me?

He could hear the drowsy notes in her voice. She was still tired. The soil was rich and had worked to help nurture her, but she could use a little more time in the ground while he hunted. It was just the fact that she reached out to him, feeling his melancholy when he thought of her continuous rebirth and he hadn’t found her fast enough.

Again, he felt that pleasant ache of desire sweep over him, listening to the sound of her voice. There was something about the way she woke so slowly. Not quite awake. Not completely asleep. Drifting. His woman. There was peace. A feeling of being content. He hadn’t realized that would come with having a lifemate.

Sleep, ewal emninumam. I will return soon. I go to feed and bring you back what you need. He stroked caresses through her hair once again. All that thick silk.

Emotions were interesting after not feeling for centuries. At first, he had found feelings overwhelming and difficult to control, so he had pushed them aside and buried them deep. Then he had slowly allowed himself to feel, but at a distance. He realized, when he was making the decisions for the two of them—decisions he knew were necessary for his lifemate to be healthy and stay alive—that she was unhappy and no longer trusted him. She was keeping secrets from him. He had expected her to share all her secrets with him while he withheld information from her. Those emotions allowed him to understand her needs a little better. They were necessary in their relationship. Now, he was grateful for them.

Tags: Christine Feehan Vampires
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