“Well, can’t say I haven’t tried.”
“You gave it your best shot, and you came closer than the rest.”
She stood up, looking around her, as if saying goodbye to everything. Knowing it was probably going to be the last time she was going to see the inside of this place.
“Your mother is going to be disappointed.” She smiled tiredly.
“My mother is perpetually disappointed.” I stood up, walking her to the door. “Besides, I’m counting on your best friend to bless her with a grandchild sooner rather than later to keep her off my case for a while.”
After I closed the door behind Gabriella, I covered the door with my frame, closing my eyes, willing the headache to dispel.
Goddammit, Tennessee.
For the next day, I couldn’t eat.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t drink.
All I did was think about Cruz.
Only this time (ah-ha!) I did something about it, too.
I sent him dozens of texts, starting the day after he dropped me off at my parents’ house after posting my bail.
Tennessee: I’m really sorry.
Tennessee: Can’t we just stay a secret for a few more days? Weeks? Months?
Tennessee: I’m doing you a favor, you know. No one wants to publicly claim me. I’m like…like…an STD! Gonorrhea, if you would.
Tennessee: Remember Mrs. Warren? I miss her, sometimes. But only because she reminds me of you.
Tennessee: Ugh. That sounded so much better in my head.
After the door had closed behind me and I had to face my family on my own, I knew I’d made the wrong decision.
I didn’t want to be around any of them. They made me feel horrible—stupid, reckless, and unequipped. I wanted to be around Cruz, who always valued my opinions, my words, and my wishes.
My mother had yelled that she couldn’t believe I’d tried to kill someone and wondered aloud how many Hail Marys I should say in church next Sunday—if I could set foot in the place ever again without burning up in flames.
My dad said he’d suffered a great deal of embarrassment from having his daughter arrested, wanted to let me rot in jail, but did mention that the evidence against me was very weak.
And Trinity flat-out refused to look at me. She stayed upstairs the entire time, opting not to come down, probably because she didn’t want to hit me again in front of my son.
Bear was the only one who was supportive about it. He gave me a big hug (a bear hug, if you would) and told me that he believed me. It was a sad state of affairs that the only person in the household who took my word was the one I also delivered out of my vagina.
As it stood, though, I didn’t have much of my family’s support—if at all—in addition to losing Cruz.
Which was why I was already in a particularly sour mood when I found out I was put on a temporary leave.
“Just until everything clears up and it all blows over.” Jerry sighed on the other line as I made lunch for Bear.
“But I didn’t do anything wrong,” I answered through gritted teeth.
I didn’t want to beg for this job, but I didn’t want my electricity to be cut off, either.
“I know that, honey pie. Everyone knows it. Which is why I expect to call you back as soon as next week.”