“By running your fingers through my pubic hair?” I whisper angrily.
He smiles into my neck. “Yes, exactly. You are getting the hang of it. You need to play along.”
“Nobody even cares,” I whisper angrily into his ear.
He licks my neck in an upstroke and cold chills cover my body. Why does he have to affect me like this? “Everybody in this room is watching. If you are not mine, they will assume you are theirs,” he whispers.
I pull back and my scared eyes hold his.
“Kiss me,” he whispers darkly.
“W-what?” I stammer in fear.
He pulls my face toward him and his lips gently dust mine.
Oh God.
His tongue slowly enters my mouth and, unable to help it, my eyes close. His tongue delves deeper and deeper and I lose all sense of reality. His arm tightens around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. My breasts are squashed up against his chest and his hand is crushing me to him. Oh hell, I’ve never been kissed like this. I feel his large erection up against my thigh and my insides start to melt.
Reality sets in and I pull away. What the hell am I doing? “I just lost my fucking appetite. I’m going back to the room.”
“I’m not ready to go back yet,” he snaps, angry that I stopped his kiss.
“I didn’t ask you to come.” I sneer.
“If you are not with me—”
I cut him off. “I’m not with you. Get it through your fucking head.” I pull out of his grip and storm back to the room alone as everyone in the room watches. I will take my chances with the others. I am not standing there and making out with that fucking asshole.
I storm back to the room with him hot on my heels.
I’m angry, fucking furious with myself, actually.
He opens the door and pushes me in as he stays in the corridor and without a word locks the door behind me.
4
Reality hits hard when I hear the cold click of the door as he leaves. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower, undress, and slowly get in as the tears begin to fall. I grab the soap and rub my skin in a panic. I wash and wash and wash until my skin is red raw. I need to get this dirty, slutty feeling off me.
He knows, too. He knows I enjoyed that kiss. He felt it.
In that moment, he owned me.
* * *
I lie in the darkness with my back toward the door when he comes in five hours later. The room is silent and heavy from my tears. I have cried a river tonight.
Not because I am the victim in this shitty circumstance, but because I was a willing participant.
I kissed him without a fight. I gave in to my lust.
Something that I vowed I would never do. I’m as bad as Melissa when she gave in to her lust. Her body led her to temptation.
He comes in and puts his keys on the desk and I can feel his eyes watching me in the darkness. After a moment he walks into the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on. My heart is beating so fast and I know he will be washing himself for what’s to come. Oh God, no. I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.
The shower turns off and a few minutes later he crawls naked into bed next to me. I scrunch my eyes shut and pretend to sleep.
He lies on his back for a few moments and I stay silent. …. can he tell that I’m awake?