“Oh no you don’t! Not until I finish my pizza!” I licked my lips, and in seconds, our food was abandoned, and I was crawling away from Cole on my hands and knees, our laughter filling the space around us.
“The pizza can wait,” he said. He caught me by the hips and guided me toward him. I stopped laughing as he did, looking deep into his eyes. Silence filled the space around us, our eyes connected, and our breaths tangled.
“I’ll miss this,” he murmured.
“You say it like we’ll never get the chance to do this again.”
He worked his mouth like he wanted to speak, but then he shook his head and pushed deeper between my legs. When he kissed me, I forgot tomorrow even existed.
24
Cole
“I want you, Cole,” Zara whispered. We were both undressed and I was inside her now. No condom this time, which I knew was reckless, but I couldn’t hold back. If this was going to be our last time, I had to make it worth it.
She threw her head back and locked her feet behind my back. I knew what she was saying. She wanted me, all of me, but I couldn’t give that to her right then. Even if the circumstances were different and she wasn’t my student, I didn’t think I could. I wasn’t built to commit. I had been raised in a home where love hardly existed, and if it did, it was through fistfights and shouting matches.
I closed my eyes as Zara kissed my throat. Fuck, her lips…her body…being inside her raw was everything I never knew I needed. She moved her hips, squeezing me until I groaned, and still, I had no choice but to pull out. I jacked my dick and came on the inside of her thigh.
My dick pulsed, and I was sure I had never in my life come so hard or so fast. I usually prided myself on lasting longer, but I’d also never been so desperate for a woman like I was for Zara.
Dammit.
I should’ve known this would happen—that sex with her wouldn’t always be just sex and, at some point, I’d be forced to acknowledge how her soul was inexplicably tethered to mine and had been from the moment she spilled tea all over my chest. Anything long-term wouldn’t be possible.
“Cole?”
I dropped my head and met her gaze, afraid she could see my feelings for her and my torment written all over my face. I pulled away and went to the bathroom for a towel, bringing it back to clean her up then lying on my back beside her on the floor. She rested her head on my chest, where my heartbeat was slowing to a steadier rhythm.
“Zara, I’m—” I’m sorry I can’t be with you? But I’m falling in love with you? Should I say both?
“Cole,” Zara murmured again.
“Yeah?”
“I think…I think I’m in love with you.”
She picked her head up and to search my eyes, and I didn’t know how to respond. There was no way I could tell her I felt the same, but there was a look of desperation in her eyes, of possibilities and fairytale endings, but I wasn’t going to be able to give that to her. I couldn’t. I had so much on the line. I’d built this career, and it didn’t matter how badly I wanted her or how many feelings I had for her; I couldn’t screw this up. It had to end here.
25
Zara
Cole looked away, unable to meet my gaze. Shit. Had I said the wrong thing? Did he not feel what I felt? My thoughts were racing through my mind like a hamster on a wheel, and I didn’t understand what was happening.
With a shake of his head, Cole slowly pulled away from me. I sat up and touched his shoulder, but he flinched as if my touch burned him.
“Don’t, Zara.” He stood and put his sweatpants back on. “Telling you to come here was a mistake.”
It was my turn to flinch.
“Shit,” he snapped, grabbing a blanket from the sofa and wrapping it around me with harsh movements. I held the blanket to me and slowly rose to my feet, not at all sure what to do next. My eyes grew wet, and while it would have been easy to blame it on the rush of hormones and endorphins, it was really because I was hurt by Cole’s apparent regret. He still wouldn’t look at me, and that made me feel ashamed of what we’d done. It made me feel ashamed of our entire weekend, and I hated that.
“What is wrong with you?” I demanded.
“What’s wrong with me? Shit, Zara, I don’t know! Maybe everything!”
“But I thought we had a great time! I—I thought this was what you wanted, for me to come back here with you!”