Some of them were nice. Solid. Kind and thoughtful and totally into me. They lavished me with attention and I drank it up like the not-so-secret attention whore that I am. Eventually, I’d get bored. How many times can a guy tell me I’m beautiful? I’d find a way to prove to him that I wasn’t so great after all. I’d shatter the illusion, and then move on.

I was so, so good at that.

Now I’m terrified Caleb is going to move on from me first. And that’s another fault of mine. I was always the one who’d run first. Who’d break hearts first. It’s better to break than to be broken, am I right?

God, I’m fucked. I’m well and truly fucked.

It’s only been a week since that night. The football team has an away game this weekend, and they left earlier today to head to Las Vegas, where they’re playing UNLV. My apartment is empty. Lonely. I could sit at home alone and pout over Caleb, but where’s the fun in that?

There’s a knock at my door and I rush toward it, throwing it open to find Ellie and Hayden standing there. Ellie is carrying a bag full of takeout and Hayden has a tote bag that I know for a fact includes her blender and all the things she needs to make her margaritas.

“I’ve never been happier to see someone in my life.” My gaze goes from Ellie to Hayden. “Two someones.”

They smile and hold up their bags. “Let us in!”

I hold the door open and Hayden goes immediately to work on her drinks while Ellie pulls all the co

ntainers out of the bag and I grab plates and silverware. She brought Chinese takeout from one of our favorite places, and the fragrant smell fills the kitchen, making me hungry.

And I haven’t been that hungry this week. Too upset over what Caleb might’ve heard. Worried about our impending doom. For the first time, I regret setting those wheels into motion. I’m not ready to end this.

Not even close.

“Gracie! Are you—are you crying?” Ellie yells at me over the whirring of the blender, sounding confused.

I blink, my vision blurry. Something slides down my face and I swipe at it.

A tear.

Shit.

I am crying.

The blender shuts off. Ellie abandons the takeout containers and I’m being surrounded by my friends, their arms coming around my waist from either side as they rest their heads on my shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” Hayden asks. She sounds scared.

“I-I don’t know.” A sob escapes me and I slap my hand over my mouth, trying to contain it.

But it’s no use. I am full-fledged crying, with tears pouring down my face and sobs wracking my body. I bend over, my hands braced on the kitchen counter and I stare at the floor, my vision swimming with unshed tears. My friends release their hold on me, though they remain at my side, Hayden running her hand up and down my back slowly.

“You’re scaring me,” Ellie finally says, her voice small.

“Tell us what’s wrong,” Hayden urges.

I swallow hard, my throat impossibly dry, though I guess all the moisture in my body is currently falling from my eyes so that makes sense. I tilt my head back and swipe at my eyes, gratefully taking the tissue Ellie offers me. I wipe my face and sniff, trying to find composure, but it’s so damn difficult.

“You never cry,” Ellie says, sounding distressed. “Like, ever, Gracie.”

“It’s true,” Hayden adds. “I’ve known you a long time. You’re not big on tears, my friend.”

I look at my friends, my head swiveling from Ellie to Hayden. “I think I broke Caleb’s heart.”

Ellie frowns. “What do you mean?”

But Hayden…understanding lights up her eyes. “That night at my place? When he overheard you say it won’t last much longer between you two?”

Nodding, I close my eyes for the briefest moment, my face crumpling like I can’t control myself. “He’s been so distant since that night. Like he threw up a wall I can’t climb over no matter how hard I try.”

Tags: Monica Murphy College Years Romance
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