“It’s so good to see you,” she says softly.
I lift my hand to meet hers and I blink hard, fighting back my own tears.
“I can’t stand not being able to hug you,” she says.
“I’ll pay bail. I’ll get out, okay?” I can’t get the words out fast enough. “Tell them I’ll pay bail. Right now. Go tell them right now.”
She nods and stands up, swiping at her eyes.
The whole process takes a couple of hours and I’m kicking myself for not asking Chloe at least a few more questions while I had her there. Jesus, I didn’t even ask her how she is. How she’s been all these years. If she’s okay.
She looked all right. Healthy, I mean. But maybe she was just putting on a front for my sake? Jesus, the first time she sees me in six years and I’m in fucking jail.
I only barely stop myself from snapping in impatience at the release officer who seems to be moving at a snail’s pace in processing my paperwork to get my belongings back to me. But finally, I’m back in my own clothes and being led to the waiting area for friends and family.
When the officer opens the door and lets me through, I see her again.
And not just Chloe.
Miranda is sitting with her, holding her hand as she waits.
Of course.
Of course it was Miranda. That stubborn woman. What did she do? Get on a plane right after I left her house to track Chloe down in Austin and let her know what a fuck up her big brother had become? I’ve only been in lock-up for a little over a day.
But I don’t even care, I’m so grateful to see my little sister.
I jog over to them and Chloe bounces to her feet. She throws her arms around my neck. I bury my face in her hair and hold her, lifting her up off the ground and swinging her back and forth.
“You’re here,” I breathe into her curly hair.
“I’m here,” she says back, laughing and crying at the same time.
I hold her for a long time and when I finally let her down, she takes my hand. Her smile is pained now. “There’s a lot we need to talk about.” Her gaze flickers over to Miranda.
“There’s a park not far from here. Why don’t I drive you there so the two of you can talk. In private.”
Chloe gives an appreciative nod, reaching out and squeezing Miranda’s hand.
There seems to be an understanding between the two of them. And seeing the woman I love and the sister I’ve always adored connecting like this? I can’t say it doesn’t affect me.
Jesus, I thought I’d accepted my fate to live out the rest of my life as a miserable, lonely fuck. But now here they are, the two lights of my life, and I don’t know— I don’t know anything anymore.
We walk out to the parking lot in silence, Chloe’s hand in mine. She squeezes every so often and looks up at me with a sunny smile.
The last two days have exhausted me and I feel scraped out on the inside. Empty of all the storming emotions that had me raging at the bar and screaming in my cell the first night.
That’s not true, though.
I have one emotion left and it’s so overwhelming I can’t stop the tears that spring to my eyes.
Gratitude.
Gratitude to be here with my sister. Gratitude to Miranda for making this happen. Gratitude I didn’t do something even stupider at the bar so I was able to get out of jail with nothing more than some money and paperwork. Gratitude to be fucking alive.
Chloe sits with me in the back seat while Miranda chauffeurs us the five minutes to a park. It’s a small green space with trees and a green lawn where some kids are playing soccer. There’s a little path through the trees that Chloe points out.
“I’ll wait for you here,” Miranda says, pulling an e-reader out of her purse.
I shoot her a grateful look and she just nods at me, her expression full of compassion and understanding. How can she? After how I treated her?
I turn away. Chloe takes my hand again as soon as we’re out of the car.
“How have you been?”
I feel stupid as soon as I ask the question. It’s so banal. Something a stranger might ask and it feels all wrong.
But Chloe just smiles up at me and squeezes my hand again. “Good. I’ve been good.” But then a cloud covers her features. “It was hard at first, I won’t lie. After everything that… happened. The first year especially.”
I cringe. “I’m so sorry I didn’t—”
She looks up at me. “It’s okay. Miranda explained.”
“She did?”
“You thought I blamed you?”
My breath catches and we walk several paces. “How could you not? I didn’t see— Didn’t realize what was happening even though I was—”