She glanced over at Ravyn. How much harder were those moments when you knew your family was alive, but not to you?
It explained why he was so understanding of Erika. Annoying though she could be, she was better than being alone. Better than watching the rest of the world take for granted the very things you would sell your soul to have.
She saw a grudging respect in Erika's blue eyes as the girl nodded in mutual understanding. "I'm sorry about your parents. I lost my mom a few years ago... It still hurts."
"I know. I'm sorry, too."
"Thanks." Erika looked over at Ravyn, then frowned. "You need anything? Like a cage or flea repellent?"
Smiling, Susan paused as she watched Ravyn move his hands as if he were singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" in that lyrical language of his. "An antidote would be nice."
"I don't know," Erika said teasingly. "He's kind of amusing like this. It's like having a big kid around or something."
Ravyn rolled over onto his stomach and tried to push himself up. Susan rushed to his side to keep him down on the mattress.
"I need to go," Ravyn said, trying to push her back.
"No, no. You're right where you need to be."
"No," he said in a tone so whiny that it stunned her. She'd have never thought such a sound could have come out of a man with such a deep voice. "I have to go."
Why was he being so stubborn?
"No, Ravyn. You need to stay right here."
"But I can't go here and I really have to go."
Erika made an odd hissing noise. "Susan, I think what he's saying is he needs the litter box. "
A feeling of dread consumed her. No... even her luck wasn't that bad. "Oh, surely not."
He pushed himself away from her grasp only to fall back down. He looked at the mattress as if baffled by it. "This isn't the bathroom..."
Oh, shoot me, please!
But there was no reprieve. If he really had to go, she couldn't very well let him go in here. That would be gross and disgusting. "I can't believe I'm having to do this."
Erika indicated the door with her thumb. "You want me to get one of the guys to help?"
Susan let out a long, tired breath as she considered it for a second. "No. I somehow doubt they'll be any more enthused about this than I am." No doubt, they'd kill him if they had to help him with this. Dreading this down to the deepest part of her being, she assisted Ravyn to his feet and almost fell under his weight. The man was so solidly built that it was like lifting a car. "Could you help me get him to the bathroom?"
"Sure."
With Erika's help, Susan was able to get him across the hall to the small bathroom. The space inside was tight and cramped. She started to wait outside with Erika but then thought better of it. In his current condition, Ravyn might fall and damage himself. The last thing they needed was for him to whack his head on something.
She watched as he fumbled with his fly like a two-year-old. "My zipper's broken."
She rolled her eyes. "No, it isn't."
He dared to give her an exasperated look. "Yes, it is."
What did I do to deserve this? She figured it had to be divine retribution for something. There was no other reason for her day to have turned on her so viciously. Cursing her own fate, she moved forward to push his hands out of the way so that she could undo his pants. Which she learned were button fly. No wonder they wouldn't unzip. Unbuttoning them, her face flamed as she realized that he didn't have on any underwear. Not that she hadn't already seen him naked, but this was somehow different. More private. With a deep breath for courage, she helped him lower his pants, then turned her back while he took care of his needs.
This has to be the weirdest moment of my life. She'd never done something like this for a stranger before. But then again, if she ever somehow found herself in a situation like this, she only hoped that someone took the same mercy on her and helped her through it. What little she knew of Ravyn, she was sure he'd die of embarrassment about being this helpless. He seemed to pride himself on his independence.
And given the way his family treated him, it was obvious he'd been alone a lot longer than she had.
When he was through, she helped him dress and wash his hands. Susan paused while soaping them. His weren't pampered hands. They were large and callused, brutally scarred by untold fights against who only knew what. One in particular was wide and deep, and ran all the way up his forearm. Another one looked like something had taken a vicious bite out of him. Her stomach lurched at the sight of them. Yeah, her life and troubles seemed so mild by comparison.
"Your touch is so soft," he whispered. "Like a butterfly's wings."
It was stupid, but those words touched something inside her. No, it wasn't the words so much as it was the emotion she heard in his voice. The tone that told her he wasn't used to anything so gentle touching him.
"Thank you," she said, rinsing his hands off, then drying them with a small hand towel.
Placing his damp hand on her chin, he tilted her head back until their gazes were locked. "You are so incredibly beautiful."
Oh, yeah, the man was definitely high. Not that she was Quasimodo or anything, but Susan wasn't stupid, either. She wasn't the kind of woman that men thought of as beautiful. "Yeah, yeah. You just want me to sleep with you."
"No," he said in a deepened voice. "You are beautiful... like an angel." He pressed his forehead against hers before he gave her the gentlest kiss she'd ever known. Something inside her melted as he wrapped his arms around her and held her not like a horny man out to get laid, but like someone who actually had feelings for her. And it brought out an ache so deep inside her that her throat tightened.
All her life, all she'd ever wanted was to be loved. To have a family again, and this kiss only reminded her of what she didn't have.
Of what she'd most likely never have. And the pain from that thought washed over her like ice.
"Okay, Ravyn, we need to get you back in bed." She expected him to argue. Instead, he merely nodded before he withdrew from her, then opened the door.
"Kitten," he said as he saw Erika again. "When did you get so tall?"
She gave Susan a "duh" stare. "I grew while you were in the bathroom."
"Really?"
Erika snorted. "You know, this is a serious improvement over his regular temperament. I think I like it. We definitely need to find out what it is and spike his food. "