When she passed Garrett over to me, my arms wrapped around the child like I had been doing it for years. It felt natural and right to hold him and I fought the urge to smother him closer. I savored the feel of his slight weight even though he was stiff against me. I inhaled deeply, emotion threatening to take over as I smelled the shampoo from his hair. Same as his mom’s.
Happiness was now in the mix of feelings I had running through me. Somehow, I could already tell Garrett was the most lovable child in the universe.
And I was his father.
I internally promised to spend the rest of my life taking care of him and making sure he had everything he needed—most of all my love.
I had just met him, but I never wanted him to doubt how much I loved him.
“He seems to be coming down with a stomach bug. I’m sure with a little medication and rest, he’ll be right as rain,” Veronica said. “I have placed the medicine Ms. Harper keeps here for emergencies in the bag for you. I already gave him a dosage about thirty minutes ago. All you have to do is stick to the instructions on the bottle and everything will be fine. Don’t worry if he’s drowsy. It’s a normal side effect. Plus, he’s likely tired from his body fighting the sickness anyway.”
I nodded, still staring at my child.
Louisa handed me a bag decorated with cartoon characters.
A few minutes later, I buckled Garrett into the backseat of my car. I didn’t even have a car seat. Did he need one? I had no idea.
He watched me with wide, unsure eyes. “Where’s my mommy?”
I pushed his hair away from his forehead. He stiffened initially but relaxed into my touch when I kept it gentle.
“I don’t know, bud,” I said. “I would very much like to know that too. I’m going to take care of you until she comes back though. We can watch movies and have a snack while we wait for her. Would you like that?”
He nodded. “I like Spiderman. He’s super cool.”
I made an expression of delighted shock. “So do I! We seem to have all the right things in common already. We’re going to have a great time together.”
Garrett nodded as if I’d spoken a proven fact.
I couldn’t help smiling. The little guy was adorable.
“I’ve seen a picture of you in my mommy’s room,” he said suddenly. “She told me I would meet you one day. You look like me.”
My heart beat in an erratic pattern, racing one second then slowing the next. “Really?” I said.
“Yes,” he replied matter-of-factly. “We should be friends.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I cried, but I felt the telltale prick of tears in the corner of my eyes. “I would like that every much,” I said, my voice choked.
Once we got to my apartment, I settled Garrett on the couch. I found a channel playing cartoons and he was impressed by the size of my television.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, having spotted a few snacks in his bag.
“No, thank you,” he said.
“Well, how about just a glass of water?” I asked, figuring he needed to at least stay hydrated.
“Okay.”
I smiled. “All right. Coming right up.”
But when I returned from the kitchen with the glass, he had already curled up on the couch and fallen asleep.
I pulled his shoes off and settled him into a more comfortable position before sitting across from him.
And then I simply watched him sleep, unable to take my eyes off him. It was like my brain wanted to catalogue everything about him.
After a while, I called Anna’s phone a few more times, pissed as hell that she had kept him from me for all these years.