“I said to myself that I wouldn’t look for you anymore, but it was so hard. That morning was a major let down because I’d finally figured out how I felt about you. It wasn’t and isn’t just about sex.” My fingers traced her neck. “I care about you.”
“So what is our relationship, Merritt? I want us to figure it out together because I’m at a loss here. Are we lovers? Partners? Friends with benefits?”
“We’re definitely not friends with benefits.”
“Then what are we?”
“I want to take you
out. Be a couple. Do you want that?”
“Yes. I want to date you.” She frowned, sighing.
“But…”
“But?”
“There is a but, right?”
“Right. The thing is, I want us to be together, but I also know I don’t want our relationship to hurt either of our careers. I’m afraid that if we got together it would only complicate things more and one of us or both would suffer at work. And we have to own up to all of this with Carter.”
I ran my finger across her lip, cheeks, and eyebrows, following the slow movement with my eyes. There was a faint flush on her cheeks that was left from our love making, which made her more desirable.
“I know. I was thinking about the same thing. I wouldn’t want you to regret being with me. There is a big possibility that us being together would ruin your career. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job or have your name dragged across the newspapers. And don’t worry about Carter, I can handle him.”
I sighed and continued. “The truth is that the relationships like ours are pretty damn hard considering the nature of our jobs. I’m a congressman and any wrong move can make my career spiral down. I have to be careful about what I say or do, especially with all that The Playboy of Washington bullshit.”
She giggled and snuggled closer to me. “Well, your lifestyle certainly doesn’t help your reputation.”
“My former lifestyle.”
“Is it? Former, I mean.”
“One hundred percent former.” I gazed into her eyes, wanting her to see the honesty of my words in mine. “Now that I have you I don’t need anyone else, Camilla. I don’t want anyone else.”
“I trust you, I really do, but it’s a bit hard for me to believe it. I mean, you aren’t famous as a playboy for no reason.”
“I know, but I’m changing. I’m not the same man as I was before you. And even then, I wanted to find someone who would mean more to me than just a one-night stand. Then I saw you and you made me go crazy.” I tapped her nose. “But you already know that.”
“Yeah, I do.” Her smile ebbed into a frown. “So, what can we do? We obviously can’t go out in public and say we’re dating. At least, not for now.”
“Then we’ll keep it a secret,” I proposed, and she sat up, facing me.
My gaze flickered to her exposed breasts, and for a few moments my mind trailed off the topic at hand.
“What do you think?” I asked her in an unusually raspy voice.
“I think that’s a solid idea. That way we don’t have to worry about anything else.”
“Then that means that we can’t appear together in public. We won’t have any dates outside of our apartments and at work we’ll have to keep it completely professional. I know that’s maybe too much to ask—”
“No, it’s not,” she interrupted me, smiling reassuringly at me. “I’ve never been the one to hide something, especially not something as important as a relationship, but if that’s what it takes to be with you without the consequences, I’ll do it. Let’s keep it a secret.”
She leaned toward me and moved her finger over my shoulder and down my chest. “Although, I have to admit that it will be difficult to keep my hands to myself at work. You’re irresistible.”
I pulled her into my embrace. Her hair was silky underneath my fingertips, her citrusy scent increasing my desire.
Yes. It was going to be very hard because we were falling for each other and staying away felt like a torture. Hiding, sneaking around, secret phone calls… This whole situation would probably take it out of us if it continued for a long time.