Chapter Thirty
"All alone?"
"Except for the dog," he repeated.
"Good." She punched him hard in the stomach.
"Ow! You didn't warn me to arm myself."
"You might want to take a moment and grab a hoplon."
"Why?"
"Why do you think? Prince Styxx."
He expelled an irritated breath. "I shouldn't have lied to you about that. But I didn't want to scare you the day we met. Had I told you who I was, you wouldn't have talked to me."
"How do you know?" she asked defensively.
"Because no one ever does."
The pain of his whispered reply sliced through her, but while the truth saddened her, his opinion of her pissed her off. "You don't give me a lot of credit, do you?"
"Really?" he growled. "I'm wrong? Look me in the eyes and tell..."
She glared in his direction.
"Sorry."
Bethany reached up and pulled him into her arms. "I hate you."
"Most people do."
"I don't."
"You just told me you did."
"That's because I do."
He sighed in her ear. "Should we make tablets or lead sheets for you to flash your mood at me? I don't want to fall behind as you change it."
She kissed him then pulled back and popped his buttocks.
"Ow!" Styxx barked, moving away from her. "I'm very confused."
"So am I. I want to hate you so much, and yet you break my heart."
"I'm not the one who left." The tremor in his voice made her choke on tears.
"I didn't know what to do, Styxx. I found out who you were and I panicked."
"You could have talked to me. Preferably without the hitting."
"You deserve the hitting."
"I promise you, I've been adequately beaten in your absence."
Bethany flinched as she remembered the sight of his bloodied and bruised body when she'd found him in his cell.
Even though she couldn't see him right now, she covered her eyes with her hands as frustration, anger, confusion, and love mixed inside her. "I've run this meeting over a million times in my mind. I've seen me falling into your arms and kissing you then taking a sword to you for not telling me who you really were. And now my emotions are all over the place. I don't know what to think, and I should, but I don't, and I hate that I don't. But I don't hate you, Styxx. I could never hate you."
Styxx pulled her against him and kissed her forehead as all of his own volatile emotions warred inside him. But the one that was most overwhelming and the only one he couldn't suppress was how much he loved her.
How much he'd die for her.
Just how damn grateful he was to see her again.
"And I want to be mad at you, Beth. In ways you cannot conceive. You are the only thing in my entire life that I have ever loved. The only thing I have ever looked forward to. And you abandoned me without a single reason why. One day, you were just gone. And when you left, you banished me to the darkest pit of Tartarus and I didn't know what I'd done to you to deserve it."
He ground his teeth as agony tore through him. "Your parents love you, Beth. Yes, your mother irritates you, and your cousins annoy you, but your father lives and breathes for your smile. Your mother would kill anyone who threatened you. And I have no concept of what any of that feels like. I never have."
Styxx laughed bitterly at the reality of his existence. "Dear gods, I never get a hot meal because I have to have someone taste my food for me before I eat it then wait to see if they die or are sickened from it. My bed has to be checked every night for poisoned sheets or lethal animals. My own family is as likely to poison me as a stranger. I went to give my mother a present and she stabbed me, multiple times. My father burst into my room and sliced my arm open in the middle of the night. My own brother and sister glare daggers through me anytime I happen into their presence. And my uncle..."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter." He lived in a world fraught with nightmares and torture. One he had no right to ask her to share. In fact, he'd gotten used to being alone in it. He didn't need another thing to worry about or the added hell of thinking she would run off and abandon him again for no reason.
He'd had enough. All he wanted now was peace. Solitude from those who wanted to hurt him.
"You know what ... go back to your family, Beth. I can't let myself be hurt any more. I'm done with it. I'm tired of reaching out to people and being slapped for it. Except for not telling you I was a prince, I was brutally honest with you. I let you into places in my heart and soul that no one has ever had access to. And you carved my heart out and shoved it down my throat. The one thing that I learned most this past year was exactly how unimportant I am. To everyone ... Even me."
Styxx turned to let himself out the door, but the stupid latch was stuck. Growling, he kicked it.
"Styxx..." Bethany wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against him. "I never meant to hurt you."
"Oh, Beth..." he breathed in a tortured whisper, "you didn't hurt me. You gutted me ... in my darkest hour, when I needed you most."
"I know, akribos. And I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. I'm not sure I could forgive me in your place. But I have missed you and I do want you back. I need you in my life."
Tears filled his eyes as he felt his resolve weakening. "I told you in the beginning to be gentle with my inexperienced heart. And that I would always be a fool for you."
"So you do forgive me?"
Taking her hand from his waist, he pressed it against his lips. "I don't know. I'm so messed up right now. It's even worse than when I came home from war. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I keep having nightmares that are so real I don't know if I'm awake or hallucinating. I'm paranoid of everyone around me. I've gotten to where I not only lock my door at night, I block it and I still don't feel safe."
Bethany flinched over the damage that had been done to him. And it's all my fault.
"If you will forgive me, Styxx, I promise I will never, ever do anything to hurt you again. Please. I beg you for one more chance." She started to kneel.
"No..." He turned around to face her and pulled her against his chest. "Don't you dare! I don't want to hear your pleas. I want your fire, Beth. It's what warms me."
"And I will keep you warm and safe from now on."
He tensed an instant before he kissed her.
Bethany melted the moment she tasted his lips. Then she squealed as he lifted the hem of her dress and ran his hands over her flesh. "What are you doing?"
"Galen gave us permission.... I might be a prince, but I do know how to change bedsheets."
Laughing, she didn't say a word as he carried her to the bed and laid her back against it. But her laughter died the minute he opened her and tasted her with a passion that was absolutely raw. She arched her back and widened her legs, giving him full access. Biting her lip, she reached down to sink her hand into his soft hair only to realize he'd cut it so short he was practically as bald as Galen. It was even shorter than it'd been when he was at war.
She would have asked him about it, but his tongue was doing the most wicked things to her. Things she had missed terribly.
Styxx growled at how good she tasted. While he'd known he was starving for her, he had no idea how much until now. He just wanted to wrap himself up in her and never leave. If he could, he'd spend the rest of his life with her like this.
And when she came a moment later, he smiled as he continued to lick and tease her until she begged him for mercy. Only then did he climb up her body and slide himself into her.
She kissed him fiercely then frowned. "You're still dressed."
"I couldn't wait to be inside you."
Laughing, she stripped his chlamys and chiton off.