Styxx's gaze fell to her distended belly. The utter grief and misery those eyes betrayed tightened her chest. To see that kind of agony on a face that was identical to the one person who meant everything to her ...
She wanted to soothe him, but knew better than to try. Neither her husband nor Styxx would appreciate it.
Blinking, he blanked out his eyes and looked to Acheron. "Stop being stupid. Tell me what I need to do."
"Go home."
"Fine." Styxx shrugged. "I'll be more than happy to comfort your wife and raise your children in your absence. I'm sure after one night in my bed, Soteria will never remember you exist."
Bellowing in rage, Ash attacked him. He threw Styxx to the ground and started banging his head against the floor. Styxx rolled and slugged him then kicked Acheron back.
"Stop it!" Savitar roared, putting himself between them as Ash went in for more. He passed a peeved, almost fatherly expression to Tory. "Have you ever?" he asked her.
"No. Do they always do this?"
"Yes," the three men said simultaneously.
Styxx cursed as his nose started bleeding. He pulled a white handkerchief out of his pocket and used it to pinch his nostrils closed.
"Lean your head back," Tory instructed.
Styxx sighed. "Forward's better."
"You sure?"
"I've been getting them since birth."
And he'd ruined several of his sister's gowns with them. Something Ryssa had held against him the whole of her life. Tory wanted to cry for him. "Can I get you anything?"
"Where's the bathroom?"
She pointed to the door right outside the room.
"Excuse me." He left them to tend it.
The moment he was gone, Tory stalked her husband. "What is wrong with you?"
Ash glared after his brother. "He always knows exactly what to say to thoroughly piss me off."
Tory folded her arms over her chest. "You know, my father had an old saying-the sharpest knives cut both ways."
"You're defending him?"
"No, baby. I would never defend anyone over you. I love you with every part of me. But I also know you better than anyone and this isn't about saving Styxx. It's about punishing yourself. Whenever you feel guilty, you lash out. And if you go to them and die, you won't be punishing yourself or helping Styxx. You'll be punishing me and Bas and this one." She took his hand and held it to her stomach so that he could feel their son moving inside her. "Is that really what you want to do?"
Ash looked past her as Styxx returned. The haunted, tormented look in Styxx's eyes as he stared at Ash's hand on Tory's stomach was heart-wrenching.
He locked gazes with Acheron. "You know, a long time ago, my mentor taught me that there's only one reason to go to war. To protect the ones you love. But life has taught me that sometimes protecting isn't about leaving them. It's about being here when they need you. It doesn't take courage to die, Acheron. It takes courage to live and to fight."
"And it takes a lot more to forgive." Ash left her to approach Styxx. He held his hand out to him. "Brothers?"
Styxx hesitated. Then he slowly shook his head. "I'm not going to let you do this to me."
"Do what?"
"Send me out to die in your stead with regret. How dare you. Don't you even try to be a brother to me now when it no longer matters. I needed my brother eleven thousand years ago. I begged for a brother then and in '07 and again even in '08, and you turned your back on me and walked away without a second thought. Every time. I have no forgiveness inside me for you. Not anymore." Styxx paused then laughed. "You're right, Acheron. I am a selfish bastard. I had to be, because no one else ever gave a single shit about me except me."
Acheron winced. "You can hear my thoughts.... I forgot you could do that."
"You forgot a lot of things I wish I could." He looked over at Savitar. "What do I need to do?"
"I need to take you to Apollymi so that you can fully pass for Acheron."
He went rigid as if he couldn't breathe. After a minute, he expelled a bitter sigh. "Of course you do. 'Cause my life just isn't miserable enough."
A tic worked in his jaw before he returned those cold blue eyes to his brother. "And yes, Acheron, I do know how much you would give to have your mother embrace you. The same amount I'd have given to have mine hold me. Not stab me in my heart because she birthed you." He pulled the aba tighter around his body. "Take me to her. Get it over with before I change my mind."
"Styxx-"
He held his hand up to silence Acheron. "If you thank me for this, I swear to the gods I loathe that I will put my fist through your face, and I don't care how much it hurts me when I do it."
Savitar took them out of the room.
Tory rubbed Ash's back. "You okay, baby?"
"Not really. I'm seriously hating myself right now as I remember things I'd forgotten on purpose. Things I should have never allowed myself to bury."
"Such as?"
Tears filled his eyes. "All the times when we were little and Styxx would try to protect me. There was this one time when we were playing and running around and I accidentally knocked over the bust of Styxx's grandfather. As his father came storming into the room, Styxx shoved me under a table and told him he was the one who'd bumped into it. He had the hell beat out of him for being reckless and thoughtless. And after he'd been sent to his room with no dinner, I snuck in to check on him. He was bruised from the middle of his back to the backs of his knees. Horrible welts that were four inches thick from the cane they'd used on him. I asked him why he hadn't told his father the truth. Do you know what he said to me?"
She shook her head.
"It's what big brothers do."
She pulled him into her arms as his silent tears fell. "Shh, baby, it's okay."
"It's not okay, Sota. I've seriously wronged him and I don't know how to make it right. How can I let him do this for me?"
"I don't know. And honestly, I'm too selfish for you to ask me.... I don't want Styxx hurt, I don't. But I can't live without you. So my vote is to sacrifice him to save your life."
"Yeah, but I'm the big brother now...."
* * *
Styxx paused inside the courtyard doorway as he caught sight of Apollymi sitting on a stone bench that overlooked a dark fountain. The hair on the back of his neck rose as the old Didymosian adage went through him. A silent man is a thinking man. A silent woman is an angry one ...
And silent women had a nasty habit of stabbing him when he wasn't looking.
But this one didn't need a knife to stab him through the heart. Not to mention, Apollymi had never been that merciful to him.
The last time they'd met had been brief and with an audience who had intently watched their every move. Then he hadn't dared to allow himself to focus on her then for fear of what he might do that would get Urian killed.
This was the first time he'd ever actually looked at the woman who had taken his wife and son.
The woman who had taken everything from him.
And all to save the life of her own son.
He should probably hate her for that alone, but given the fact that he'd have sold his soul to have a mother who would just acknowledge his existence with something other than profound hatred, how could he? In spite of what Acheron thought, Apollymi's unconditional and unreasoning love for her son was the only thing Styxx had ever coveted.
That and Ryssa's.
Styxx swallowed hard as that old wound ripped open and flooded him with pain. Ryssa's last words to him had been so harsh and cutting-in more ways than one. He'd done everything he could to make his sister love him, but her unwarranted jealousy and love of Acheron had kept her from seeing him as anything other than worthless, spoiled, and selfish. An unwanted nuisance. While he'd done his absolute best to protect and shield Acheron, Ryssa had ruthlessly blamed him for things he had no control over.
For things he hadn't done.