"Bah, pay her no heed. She's a woman. She doesn't understand the needs of men. Come, Styxx, I have the wine warmed and fresh bread and cheeses for you. I'm anxious to hear how things are with Estes and Atlantis."
Styxx felt his sister's glare on him the whole way up. And he also noticed the one person who wasn't there. "How's Mother?"
His father sighed heavily. "Ever the same. Lost in her cups."
And hating them all with every sip she took. Except for Ryssa, who could never do wrong.
As they entered the dining room, his father released him so that he could take a seat while the servants brought them refreshments.
This messed with his mind even more than what Estes had done to him. "Father? May I ask something?"
"Absolutely."
Styxx indicated the mini banquet that was set out. "What is all this? I was expecting your anger and censor." The back of your hand across my mouth ...
"To be honest, I am angry. Furious, point of fact. But when your uncle wrote to me, he reminded me of a few things."
His stomach drew tight with dread. "Such as?"
"That at your age, I was married and expecting my first child."
Both his father's wife and child had died during the birth. He'd married Styxx's mother a year later.
"And that I was only a handful of months older than you when I ascended to the throne. He was right. I do still see you as an infant and I have too long treated you as one. I should never have had you whipped on your return. You're too old for that. It's time I trusted myself and your tutors to have given you the foundation you need to be the man I know you can be. Far too long, I have allowed my fears and doubts to color my sight where you're concerned." He tapped his fingertip against the table. "From this day forward, that changes."
Leaning back, his father rang for his servants. "Fetch the prince's gifts."
Completely floored, Styxx didn't move until they brought in a kopis, xiphos and hoplon and placed them on the table before him. They were supposed to have been given to him months back, but his father had refused.
You're not fit for them....
Rising, his father handed him the sword. "Galen assures me that this will please you."
Amazed by its beauty, Styxx stood and unsheathed it. Similar to Galen's, this one was marked with a laurel crown and the words "to be rather than to seem." Then he looked at his red hoplon that held a black phoenix with the same crown above it. The crest was topped with the words "I defend." Even though he'd been informed of their creation, this was the first time he'd actually seen them.
"Thank you, Father."
His father inclined his head to him. "You are now the champion of this kingdom, and you have earned the honor."
Strange, he felt more like a fraud. He wasn't a man. In truth, he wanted to go hide until his shame and pain were gone.
How would you look at me, Father, if you ever learned what was done to me? That he was so weak and ineffectual that he'd been held down and used against his will, and that the only thing he'd been able to do was cry while they violated him.
Even their scold ...
His father gave him a quick embrace. "I know you're tired from your journey. Go and rest. We can speak later."
Yes, he was tired. But more than that, he was confused and he had no one to turn to with it. No one to confide in. The bitter reality of that slapped him hard. He was alone in his hell and maybe that was the way it should be.
'Cause the gods knew he never wanted anyone to know the horrors he'd been through.
As he turned to leave, his father stopped him. "By the way, your room's been moved."
"Pardon?"
"It was a boy's room."
Frowning, he followed his father up the stairs to the opposite wing, where his father's chambers were. While his father's room was at the end of the hall, Styxx's was just off the stairs now.
His father opened the door then stood back for Styxx to enter. The moment he did, his eyes went wide. Massive compared to his old room, this one was finally the size of his sister's. Made up of four rooms that opened into each other, it had its own dining room, bedchambers, receiving area, and bathing room.
"Does it please you?"
"Yes, Majesty."
His father started to leave then grabbed him into another massive embrace. "Your sister was right," he whispered in Styxx's ear. "I thought I'd lost you forever. I pray to the gods that you never know the sorrow and fear I felt in my heart when I found you gone with no explanation, and I pray that I never know it again. I love you, Styxx. To the depth of my soul."
The incongruity of that statement with the things his father had said and done to him in the past ...
It ranked with his mother's semi-sober declarations of maternal love and affection she'd occasionally given. And they all left him baffled.
If you really loved me, how could you banish my twin as if he was nothing?
How could his father have walked out on him when he'd been broken and bleeding in the Dionysion?
No matter what his father said, did, or gave, nothing would ever undo either of those actions. How could it?
Clapping him on the shoulder, his father turned and left.
Styxx set his swords and shield on the dining table and tried to come to terms with everything that had happened to him in such a short amount of time. Nothing felt real right now. It was as if he walked in a dream, detached from his body and from the world.
And while he had no memory of what Estes had done to him these weeks past, he had full knowledge of the hunting party, the scold and the journey home.
I will never be the same....