Nathaniel fought a victorious grin as Hawk snapped, “I don’t fucking think so,” and shot him a glare.

How he ached not only to taste Hawk, but undo him. Hawk had been in control, as always, when he’d fucked Nathaniel’s mouth, and Nathaniel wanted to have him moaning and at his mercy.

He tried a brazen tone and playful wink. “It would only be for the sake of practice, of course. If you’re otherwise engaged.”

“I don’t think your cock-sucking skills will be much use with your betrothed,” Hawk grumbled.

Nathaniel sat up straighter, all mirth vanished. “What?” He opened and closed his mouth. “But… No. I shan’t be marrying her now. It would be impossible.” He hadn’t formulated the thought until that moment, but he recognized its truth.

“No?” Hawk’s head was still down as he rummaged around. “Why not?”

“You know why.” The notion of marrying Elizabeth Davenport, of retreating once more and hiding not only his reading deficiencies but his very essence, sent cold dread down his spine despite the humidity.

Men were said to possess souls, and he had only just discovered his and given it weight and shape.

Hawk frowned. “Surely you understand that there are countless men like us who marry women and hide their nature. Countless women too, for that matter.”

Holding the dagger, Nathaniel imagined how it would feel slicing into his flesh. Possibly akin to the idea of living the rest of his life cloistered, his true self secreted away. His voice croaked as he said, “Yes. I shall not be among them. I can’t. I would turn to stone.”

He drew a drop of blood from the tip of his first finger. It sat there on his skin, a perfect circle. Then he drew the blade down the pad, watching the crimson line blossom.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hawk was across the cabin in what seemed like a solitary bound, snatching the dagger away and taking Nathaniel’s wrist in an iron grip. He sucked Nathaniel’s finger into his mouth with hard pressure, looming above him where Nathaniel still sat on the bed.

Breath coming short, Nathaniel said, “You see? I need lessons.”

Pulling out the finger with a pop, Hawk closed his fist around it. He huffed. “Not cutting yourself shouldn’t have to be taught.”

“I’ve always been a slow learner.”

Hawk watched him, eyes flashing. “There are no words involved, so that excuse will not fly.”

“I was just…making sure I’m still real.” Not stone. He sees me. He sees me as I truly am.

Hawk’s brow furrowed, and he squeezed Nathaniel’s finger tighter. “I assure you, this is flesh in my grasp.”

What would it be like to taste those lips, to steal a kiss and press close, to drink him in? Would he taste his blood on Hawk’s tongue? Hawk was staring, so Nathaniel cast about for something to say. He asked, “Do you think that pirate will attack again? The man with one eye?”

Hawk’s expression grew more perplexed. “Perhaps. It’s impossible to know.”

“Or the British or Spanish. What would happen to me if you and the crew were overrun?”

“We won’t be.”

“Still. I should know how to defend myself. If not on this ship, in the New World.”

“Your father will have men, surely. You’ll be quite safe.”

“I won’t be staying on Primrose Isle. I’ve decided. I have to invent a new life.” He thought of Susanna with a sharp pang. He’d miss her desperately, but she had Bart, and would soon have a child as well. He wondered for the hundredth time if she was safely at the colony and prayed she was.

He cleared his throat. “I won’t follow blindly and obediently because the world tells me I must. If being kidnapped by pirates has taught me anything, it’s that there is a world beyond my borders.”

Sitting beside him with a soft grunt, still holding Nathaniel’s finger, Hawk asked, “Then what will you do?”

“I don’t know.” The knot in his stomach tightened, a hitch or perhaps a figure-eight. “Run away, I suppose. Somewhere else in the colonies. Boston, perhaps? Or Carolina. I hope it will be easier for someone like me in the New World. What will you do? Once you’ve exchanged me for your ransom?”

Will you let me go? Do I mean anything to you, or is it all in my mind?

The notion that he and Hawk would part clawed deeper at Nathaniel than he would have thought possible. This man had kidnapped him, threatened him, and yet here he sat stanching the flow of Nathaniel’s blood even though the cut was nothing of concern.

Nathaniel truly had seen beyond his borders for the first time, and he couldn’t go back to his former life. What about Hawk? Was he satisfied with a pirate’s uncertain, brutish existence? Nathaniel thought not. He suspected the Sea Hawk wasn’t at all the man he purported to be.

Tags: Keira Andrews Erotic
Source: readsnovelonline.net