She rolled her eyes. “I mean just that you and Seth could, you know.” She shrugged. “Become friends.”
The back of his neck prickling, he shrugged. “I’m going to go say hi to Pop.”
“No, no, no.” She blocked his path and stared at him, hands on her hips. “You always blow me off when I bring this up. You used to hang out with your buddies from the railway all the time. But when was the last time you talked to them? Saw them? Liked one of their Facebook posts?”
He huffed. “You know I hate that shit.”
“Yes, I’m well aware you and social media are not on the same wavelength. But you used to go out drinking and watching football games with those guys every week. Why don’t you call them up?”
His lungs tightened, and he forced a jagged breath. “Just leave it alone.”
“But those guys—”
“Those guys never came to see me in the hospital.” He raised his voice, clenching his fists. “Okay?”
She blinked, jutting her chin forward. “What?”
“The bosses said the accident was my fault. Huey went along with it—said he couldn’t remember anything. Everyone knew I was taking the fall for faulty equipment, and since it happened in the train yard and not out on the line, and no one got killed, there was no investigation. Maybe they paid off the feds, I dunno. But they said Huey got hurt because of me. I was poison after that. I haven’t fucking seen my friends once since I woke up broken on a ventilator.”
Jenna opened and closed her mouth. Then her eyes glistened with tears, and Logan felt like a piece of shit. He begged, “Don’t cry. It’s fine. Really.”
“It’s not fine! I should have known!” She hugged him fiercely, standing on her tiptoes. She smelled like Vaseline and spit-up, and Logan held her tightly. Voice tight, she whispered, “It makes so much more sense—why you moved so fast with Veronica.”
No sense in denying it. “Yeah.”
“I should have known.” She stepped back and shook her head. “Why didn’t I know?”
“Because I never told you?”
“I should have realized.”
“You can’t read my mind. You’ve spent your whole life taking care of other people. What do I ever do for you?”
She slapped his arm. “You do plenty. You’re my big brother. Remember when you terrified that asshole Billy Morgan after he made fun of my training bra? Not that I condone the threat of violence, of course.”
Laughing softly, he swiped at her tears with his thumb. “Haven’t done much for you lately.”
“True,” she joked with a wink. “Think you can keep an eye on Noah for half an hour or so before I have to pick up Ian from his half day of preschool?”
Logan was more than happy to stop talking about all this emotional shit. “Sure.” The kid was still fast asleep, so it would be simple enough.
“Awesome. I know eventually when Ian is Connor’s age and wants nothing to do with me that I’ll long for these days when he wants to be with me every second he can, but sometimes it’s just so nice to go to the bathroom by myself. Maybe even have a shower all alone.”
“Go nuts. Noah and I’ll be fine.” Then he frowned. “If you need help with the kids during the day, I can come over. It’s not like I have a job.” He should have offered ages ago and kicked himself silently. Useless sack of shit. Can’t even babysit.
“No, no, we’re fine. Jun helps before and after work. I shouldn’t complain.”
“Why not? Wanting to drop a deuce in peace isn’t exactly asking for the moon.”
She grimaced. “Must you use Pop’s old classics? And I know, but the kids already spend time away from me at preschool and daycare. In January, I have to work full days. I’m lucky I’ve been able to ease back part time.”
“If boss lady’s got such a hard-on for families, she should pay for more maternity leave.”
Jenna smirked. “Indeed. But she gives a lot, comparatively. I was damn lucky to get almost six months off because BRK took over—it was barely a month with Ian. Okay, if he gets fussy, just shout.” Smiling down at Noah, she ghosted a kiss over his forehead before straightening. “And just… I’m sorry I pressed. I only want you to be happy again.”
“I know. Now go read Facebook and take your dump.” He kissed her cheek and waved her off before easing out a chair at the round kitchen table. Sunlight beamed in over the sink, which was full of dirty dishes. Logan wondered if he could wash them quietly enough.
The TV murmured distantly from the den, Pop watching some morning game show by the sounds of it. Noah was still fast asleep, making little whimpers from time to time, opening and closing his round little mouth. His dark hair was spiky the way Ian’s had been.