He’d thought about joining some kind of club—although definitely not the pretentious wine tasting group he and Brandon had attended before Brandon dumped him.
But which club? Seth had been researching it for, well, almost a year. There were variables and pros and cons to consider! He didn’t want to choose the wrong club. What if he ran into Brandon and Brandon’s new boyfriend? The thought was horrific. In the end, every weekend he’d wound up staying home. Alone.
Bitterness swelled. “Guess I’m not getting the director position. Single and gay won’t cut it.” He wasn’t sure who he resented more—Brandon for leaving or himself for being so pitifully alone and indecisive. If he didn’t deserve happiness in love, maybe he didn’t deserve it at work.
“She doesn’t care about the gay part.” Matt’s face lit up. “In fact, she’s all about LGBTQ inclusion. Thinks everyone should experience the joy of having kids and all that shit. And she’s got a real lady boner for showing off how open-minded she is. So just, you know, get married to some guy, stat. Tell her you’re going to adopt a starving orphan. She’ll love it.” He jerked his head around, then hissed, “Here she comes!” before ducking back to his desk on the other side of partition.
Angela Barker’s Texas accent and nasal tone preceded her as she made her way through the maze of pods. Jenna shoved a stack of paper into a desk drawer, then pawed at the stain on her blouse, muttering, “Why today of all days?”
Pulse racing, Seth straightened his little area, scooping a few stray paper clips into the jar by his keyboard. His pen and pad of sticky notes sat in their usual place by his phone, and his notebook rested on the other side of his computer. He adjusted the thumb tack pinning the calendar over his desk to make sure the December snowy sunrise landscape was centered on the bulletin board.
Said board also held a corporate lunch-and-learn schedule and a coupon for twenty percent off at Bed, Bath & Beyond Jenna had passed along to encourage him to buy more furniture for his house. He should have put up something Christmassy. He bet Angela loved Christmas.
Compared to Jenna’s desk, Seth’s looked hardly lived in. His black and white mug stated: “I really love my boyfriend cat.” Considering his ex had given it to him as a birthday gift weeks before leaving him, Seth probably should have tossed it instead of adding a splash of masochism to his daily cup of coffee.
Especially since his cranky old calico, Agatha, had died a few months after Brandon left. Jenna had asked him once why he kept using the mug, and he’d said it was because it was the last thing Brandon had given him.
She’d tilted her head, mouth pulled down in pity. “He’s not dead. He dumped you, and he’s dating a gym bunny from Schenectady. Which is what you should be doing. Get out there and hook up! You’re only thirty-seven. You’re still young!”
Too bad the thought of hooking up left him feeling even emptier than Brandon’s absence. Seth wished he was one of those guys—apparently every other man who walked the earth—who could have casual sex and not feel guilty and bleak.
Heck, he still felt guilty when he masturbated—although it didn’t stop him when the need was too much. He hadn’t been to church in years, yet he couldn’t seem to completely let go of the strict rules he’d grown up with.
He straightened the ridiculous mug.
“Well, it’s good to meet you, Lin!” Angela was a few pods away. Getting closer.
Seth’s pulse raced. He’d been the de facto leader of the systems training team for three years. He planned worldwide training sessions for clients who purchased Greenware’s corporate telecommunications system.
Now they were Greenware Sync after the takeover from BRK Sync, but the equipment and systems hadn’t changed. Jenna didn’t technically report to him, and neither did the revolving door of interns who helped with the sessions, but they should have.
When Seth had transferred to Albany from Atlanta a year and a half ago, it had been with the promise of a promotion and manager title. A pay raise. Yet he’d received excuse after excuse. And now he’d be out of consideration for the director role because he wasn’t married with kids? It just wasn’t fair.
He muttered to Jenna, “I’m going to get screwed, aren’t I?”
“And not in the way you need to get screwed.”
“Hiya, Matt!” Angela Barker was right in front of their pod. Seth glimpsed the top of her poufy bleached hair over the partition. As she talked to Matt and a few other people, Seth’s mind spun. He wanted the promotion. He needed the promotion. Most of all, he deserved the promotion.
He rolled over to Jenna and whispered, “Too bad I don’t have a magic wand to create an instant family.” He pushed off the thin beige carpet and rolled back to his spot, clicking on his spreadsheet as he tried to look both busy and casual at the same time. It was what it was. There was nothing he could do to—