Hattie winced.
Evie (who, incidentally, also had a crappy brother) hung her head.
Lottie and Ryn looked like they were getting mad.
Evie lifted her head. “I’m understanding the cinnamon rolls now.”
“If any situation screams cinnamon rolls, this is it,” Hattie concurred.
“I’m not done,” I told them.
Ryn’s voice was getting higher. “Are you serious?”
“Oh shit,” Lottie said around another bite of cinnamon roll (an aside: this was testimony to how good my cinnamon rolls were, because Lottie was eating them, and she and Mo treated their bodies like temples, except when it came to my cinnamon rolls).
“Yes, I’m serious. And yes, oh shit,” I confirmed.
For fortification, they all dug into their rolls.
I waited until they had mouths full of ooey, gooey, cinnamony, doughy, frosting goodness before I carried on.
“So, I shared with you all what went down with Auggie and Juno asking him to career day and all of that,” I began.
I got four head nods.
“And I just told you Auggie told me about my sister and my brother.”
Four more head nods.
“I also told you Auggie came over yesterday, and this is one of the reasons why I asked you here today.”
The head nods came again.
“What I didn’t tell you was that Juno saw him pulling up. She let him in. Then she told him to come up to my bedroom to say hi. She did not shout up and say, ‘Hey, Mom! Auggie’s here!’ She probably knew exactly what I was doing and sent Auggie right up to my room.”
They stopped nodding and stared.
“I was meditating,” I carried on. “He watched me.”
“Oh man.” Ryn.
“Cool.” Evie.
“Hot.” Lottie.
“Yikes.” Hattie.
“When I finished, he told me I was even more beautiful when I meditated.”
“Oh man.” Ryn.
“Cool!” Evie.
“Hot.” Lottie.
“Yippee!” Hattie.
I ignored them.
“He further told me that he loved my bedroom. And, after giving me the intel about my brother and sister, and doing it in a really nice way, even if what he had to say was really upsetting, he told me about his parents’ crazy relationship that is hella dysfunctional. How they’ve dragged him along in that mess and were still doing it. Made some mention about how women jacked him around that did not sound good. Apologized for what he said to me at Juno’s school. And when he did that, he did it in a way that I knew he really meant it and it wasn’t just words. And finally, he made some promises I, for the life of me, and I gotta say between yesterday and now I’ve tried, cannot imagine he wouldn’t keep.”
“Yeah, Mo’s told me all of this about Aug. His parents are serious assholes,” Lottie corroborated.
“Mo told you? Mag didn’t tell me,” Evie said. “Does Mag know?”
“Probably,” Lottie answered.
“Boone hasn’t told me either,” Ryn put in.
Hattie was semi-squirming.
Axl had shared with her.
“It’s okay,” I said to her. “Honestly.”
“I felt bad not telling you. I really did,” she replied. “But Axl told me and then he said it was Auggie’s to give to you, and I agreed.”
“That’s why I didn’t say anything too,” Lottie added.
“Totally, it’s okay,” I assured them.
Because it was.
This was because Axl was right. It was Auggie’s to give me.
Though…
“Someone told him about Corbin,” I shared.
“It didn’t come from Axl,” Hattie piped up. “He knows it goes both ways.”
“It might have come from Mo,” Lottie admitted.
“Or Mag,” Evie said.
“Or Boone,” Ryn said.
“I don’t mind,” I promised. “It’s not like I don’t know we all talk about all sorts of stuff.”
“But you mentioned it,” Lottie pointed out.
“I didn’t say it to make you all feel weird,” I replied. “I said it because he knows, and he was very clear that he wasn’t going to do what Corbin did to me.”
“I don’t think he’d ever do that,” Evie said.
“Not ever,” Hattie punctuated.
“If he did, he knows Mo would fuck his shit up,” Lottie announced.
“Boone would too,” Ryn said.
“Okay,” I cut in, because I was right. The Auggie part was going to take the longest. “So…” I squeezed my eyes shut tight, then with a groan, plopped down on a crochet-covered pillow that was behind me before I put my elbows to my knees and buried my face in my hands.
“Pez,” Lottie called me.
I took a deep breath and gave her my gaze.
At one look at her pretty face, I knew she understood precisely what weighed me down so much it physically took me down.
“Auggie’s gorgeous. Have you ever considered that?” she asked.
“Of course. Like, every time I look at him. And, just to say, a lot of the times I’m not looking at him and just thinking about him.”
“I don’t mean that kind of consideration,” she said.
I let my expression, which I knew was now confused, do the talking.
She heard me and began to tell a story.
“Before they met us, the guys used to hang at a bar. It was a local but also kind of a pickup joint. They had good TVs and the men were tight with the bartenders so they could tell the person behind the bar what they wanted to watch, and they’d change the channel. They could catch their games there and never run out of beer. And hot babes hung there. So, for obvious reasons, it was their regular place.”