d who understood the last-minute nature of military assignments. Hopefully she could spare an hour tonight to watch Mariana while he went to see Cameron. Sharon replied quickly that she was free.
Three texts sent, about a million things left to do.
He headed to Cameron’s as soon as he got Mariana settled, but he had one stop to make on the way. This conversation with Cameron would require caffeine. And a lot of it. Peet’s Coffee, one of his and Cameron’s favorites, wasn’t far away, and, thankfully, stayed open later than most coffee shops.
With an extra-large caramel latte with extra whipped cream in hand to share, he headed to Cameron’s.
This conversation was definitely an extra whipped cream conversation.
He knocked on Cameron’s door about nine-fifteen, hopefully late enough that they could talk without being interrupted.
When she opened the door, her entire face brightened. “Hey, Alex. Come on in.”
If only he could trust that smile would be there when he left.
He stepped through the door and brushed his lips across her cheek. What he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and remind her of what they had. But she might not feel the same after she heard what he had to say. “Caramel latte, extra whipped cream.”
She closed the door behind him. “This must be serious.”
“Lizzie?”
“She fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago. She was in a sour mood today.”
Oh, man. What Cameron needed right now was a glass of wine and a foot massage. Instead, he was going to cause her more stress. “Sorry it’s been a rough day. I have some things I need to discuss with you.”
Cameron mumbled something just out of earshot as she led him to the couch. But she didn’t join him—she sat in the armchair that flanked the sofa. What was up with that? Some kind of woman’s intuition? She usually snuggled up next to him when they talked.
This was probably better anyway. Now he could look her in the eye. To see her reaction. He didn’t want her to hide anything from him.
She pressed her hands together between her knees. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve got orders.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly as she stared at him unfocused. “Ohhhhhhhh.”
He’d expected this reaction. She had spent years trying to get Josh to stay put, and here Alex was, leaving.
Cameron perched on the edge of her chair, her hands wringing in her lap. “I guess I’m not surprised. The way the project’s been coming to a head, especially for the past couple of weeks. And the way you responded when the major mentioned it at dinner. I could tell that you would rather be out in the field with your team than just having video conferences.”
“Of course, I would. Those are my buddies and we have each other’s backs. I can’t really do that very well from here.” Dang, he hadn’t meant to be curt. Cameron was the one person that needed to understand. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I’m just tired and have a thousand things running through my mind. I joined the Army to fight with a unit. This isn’t a combat assignment, but my need to be with my team is the same. I took the post at Ft. Dunwoody specifically because it’s a non-deployable position, but that doesn’t mean travel doesn’t happen. And when I get orders, I have to go.”
She dropped her gaze to her hands. If she wrung them much more, they would be raw. “I get that. I know sometimes you think I don’t, but I do. I just don’t like it.”
“I know you don’t. As excited as I am to get out with my unit, I hate the idea of leaving Mariana… and you… behind. Even for barely more than a week.”
She nibbled at her bottom lip. She eventually shook her head, still not meeting his gaze. But there were tears. They weren’t falling, but they were close. “I don’t know if I can do this. I knew the day I met you that you were in the Army. That’s why I tried to stay away. I tried, I argued, but you just kept coming back. Now you’re leaving. Just like Josh.”
“Not like Josh. I’m not searching for my next peak to climb. And I’m certainly not spending months at a time away from my family.” He winced. That was exactly what a future deployment could require. “This is just a short business trip. And it’s not a combat assignment. I’ll also be in touch with both Mariana and you, if you want me to be.”
“But you want to go.”
“Of course, I do. This is my duty. Those are my friends out there. And more importantly, this is my system that they are implementing. Without me. I can’t be as effective here at this point. I know how you feel about my being in the Army and the potential for being deployed. But this is who I am and always have been. And if you don’t understand that about me, then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for either of us.”
“Maybe it isn’t. I don’t want Lizzie to have to deal with another absentee father figure in her life.”
Cameron’s words stabbed him in the heart. He didn’t want to upset Lizzie any more than he did Mariana. But he’d talked to Mariana. While she didn’t like the fact he was leaving, she understood. Could he do the same with Lizzie? “I can have a conversation with her before I leave tomorrow. Explain the situation to her—”
Cameron leapt to her feet. “No, I’ll talk to my daughter. Not you.”