“You look like hell.”
Well, that was not exactly what she’d meant to say, but it was the truth. She’d never seen him so frazzled and forlorn, but he’d brought everything upon himself...so why did she feel bad?
“I’ve been sleeping in my office and I can’t focus on work,” he told her. “I don’t deserve five minutes of your time, but I’m asking for it anyway.”
Not only had she never seen him look like this, she’d never heard that tone before. Oh, he still had a strength to his words, but the underlying vibe was definitely broken.
Still, after all he’d put her through, she refused to go easy on him. Why should she? She’d put herself out there from the second she’d walked into his office and he’d taken advantage without even an ounce of guilt. Well, he probably had guilt once he got caught, but he’d slept with her night after night. At any point he could’ve told her about his father and Sterling.
But he chose to keep her in the dark and continue the lie.
“I know you want to slam that door in my face,” he went on. “Do what you have to do, but I’m just asking for a chance to explain my actions. Just like I gave you the chance to explain yours about what happened years ago.”
“I call bullshit on that.” Paisley gripped the doorknob and seriously thought about slamming the door as he suggested. “You didn’t let me fully explain. I attempted and you brushed it aside as a maybe truth because you didn’t want to believe your father would lie to you. That hurts, doesn’t it? Knowing someone you love, someone you trust with your entire life has betrayed you?”
“I believe what happened with my dad,” he told her. “I know you loved me then and I know you love me now. Can I just have five minutes?”
“I think you need quite a bit longer than that to offer a proper apology.” She pursed her lips and considered, though her heart was breaking and she wanted to ignore all the red flags and invite him in...straight to her bed. “You have four and a half minutes. Go.”
“Can I come in?”
She shifted her stance and leaned against the door. “No.”
He stared at her for a minute before he finally nodded and glanced down to his feet. For the first time in her life she wondered if he’d ever been in this position before. He had no control and they both knew it.
Lucas raised his head and focused back on her as his shoulders squared and eyes held hers. “I messed up. There’s really no way to sugarcoat that and I want you to know that I’m not here just because I want a child or I want to keep up this arrangement we had. I’m here because I want you back for good. I want a real wedding, I want a real future, no secrets. I want everything with you, Paisley.”
She listened, trying to ignore the pull of her heartstrings, but how could she? Each word sounded so heartfelt, not rehearsed at all. Still...
“It’s not that simple,” she explained. “You can’t just come here because you’re lonely. You’re supposed to hurt. That’s your punishment.”
He took a step closer, sliding a hand around the dip in her waist and making her shiver. Damn that man for making her feel when she tried so hard not to.
“I’m not here because I hurt,” he murmured, staring into her eyes. “I’m here because you’re hurt.”
Tears pricked her eyes. Why did he know the right words? Why did he have so much charm that he made it impossible for her to hate him?
Paisley blinked back the unshed tears. “Yes, I’m hurting,” she admitted. “But words won’t just make that pain go away. I’ve never been used before, Lucas. And I never thought I’d be used by someone so close to me.”
The warmth from his hand had her softening her words, and Paisley could feel herself melting little by little. The wall of defense she had so firmly in place was slowly slipping away.
“I never intended to hurt you,” he stated. “Yes, I saw you as a way to get to Sterling, but the man is a complete bastard. I volleyed between wanting him to be your dad so you’d have closure and wanting him to not be your dad because I didn’t want you to have anything to do with the jerk.”