"I can't tell you, David," she replied raggedly. "I can only tell you that he haunts me. He wants me to go there and bring back those things. "
"You don't want to do this," I said. "I can tell by your entire manner. You're being haunted. "
"It's a strong ghost, David," she said, her eyes moving over the distant statues. "They're strong dreams. " She shook her head. "They're so full of his presence. God, how I miss him. " She let her eyes drift. "You know," she said, "when he was very old, his legs were bad. The priest came; he said Oncle Vervain didn't have to go to Sunday Mass anymore. It was too hard. Yet every Sunday, Oncle Vervain got dressed in his best three piece suit, and always with his pocket watch, you know, the little gold chain in front and the watch in the little pocket¡ªand he sat in the dining room over there listening to the broadcast of Mass on the radio and whispering his prayers. He was such a gentleman. And the priest would come and bring him Holy Communion in the afternoon.
"No matter how bad his legs were, Oncle Vervain knelt down for Holy Communion. I stood in the front door until the priest was gone and the altar boy. Oncle Vervain said that our church was a magic church because Christ's Body and Blood was in Holy Communion. Oncle Vervain said I was baptized: Merrick Marie Louise Mayfair¡ªconsecrated to the Blessed Mother. They spelled it the French way, you know: M e r r i q u e. I know I was baptized. I know. "
She paused. I couldn't bear the suffering in her voice or in her expression. If only we had located that baptismal certificate, I thought desperately, we might have prevented this obsession.
"No, David," she said aloud, sharply correcting me. "I dream of him, I tell you. I see him holding that gold watch. " She settled back into her reverie, though it gave her no consolation. "How I loved that watch, that gold watch. I was the one who wanted it, but he left it to Cold Sandra. I used to beg him to let me look at it, to let me turn its hands to correct it, to let me snap it open, but no, he said, 'Merrick, it doesn't tick for you, ch¨¦rie, it ticks for others. ' And Cold Sandra got it. Cold Sandra took it with her when she left. "
"Merrick, these are family ghosts. Don't we all have family ghosts?"
"Yes, David, but it's my family, and my family was never very much like anyone else's family, was it, David? He comes in the dreams and tells me about the cave. "
"I can't bear to see you hurt, my darling," I said. "In London, behind my desk, I isolate myself emotionally from the Members all over the world. But from you? Never. "
She nodded. "I don't want to cause you pain, either, boss," she said, "but I need you. "
"You won't give up on this, will you?" I replied as tenderly as I could.
She said nothing. Then:
"We have a problem, David," she said, her eyes fixed on the altar, perhaps deliberately avoiding me.
"And what is that, darling?" I asked.
"We don't know exactly where to go. "
"I'm hardly surprised," I responded, trying to remember what I could of Matthew's vague letters. I tried not to sound cross or pompous. "All Matthew's letters were mailed from Mexico City in a batch as I understand it, when you were making your way home. "
She nodded.
"But what of the map that Oncle Vervain gave you? I know it has no names, but when you touched it, what happened?"
"Nothing happened when I touched it," she said. She smiled bitterly. She was silent for a long time. Then she gestured to the altar.
It was then that I saw the small rolled parchment, tied in black ribbon, sitting beside the small picture of Oncle Vervain.
"Matthew had help getting there," she said in a strange, almost hollow voice. "He didn't figure it out from that map, or on his own in any fashion. "
"You're referring to sorcery," I said.
"You sound like a Grand Inquisitor," she replied, her eyes still very distant from me, her face devoid of feeling, her tone flat. "He had Cold Sandra to help him. Cold Sandra knew things from Oncle Vervain that I don't know. Cold Sandra knew the whole lay of the land. So did Honey in the Sunshine. She was six years older than me. "
She paused. She was obviously deeply troubled. I don't think I had ever seen her so troubled in all her adult years.
"Oncle Vervain's mother's people had the secrets," she said. "I see so many faces in my dreams. " She shook her head as if trying to clear her mind. On her voice went in a near whisper. "Oncle Vervain used to talk to Cold Sandra all the time. If he hadn't died when he did, maybe Cold Sandra would have been better, but then he was so old, it was his time. "
"And in the dreams, Oncle Vervain doesn't tell you where the cave is located?"
"He tries," she answered sadly. "I see images, fragments. I see the Maya bru
jo, the priest, going up to a rock by the waterfall. I see a big stone carved with facial features. I see incense and candles, feathers from the wild birds, beautifully colored feathers and offerings of food. "
"I understand," I responded.
She rocked a little in the chair, her eyes moving slowly from side to side. Then she took another drink of the rum in her glass. "Of course I remember things from the journey," she said in a slow voice.