“Napkins?” I asked when Sarah was done. She nodded, and I handed her two. She wiped her face and then smiled at me with bright blue teeth. Tommy laughed at her, and Sarah stuck out her equally blue tongue.
Tommy and I took our time with our treats, eating them slowly to enjoy every single bite. Sarah kept begging for a second cone, but she knew she wouldn’t get it. When Tommy and I were done, the three of us found a trail behind the snow cone stand.
“Do you guys want to walk it for a little while?” I asked. “Could be a pretty cool adventure.”
“Sure!” Tommy said.
“Yeah!” Sarah nodded.
We headed down the trail and soon realized it wasn’t long enough to matter. We played in a little clearing for a while. I sat back and let the kids run out all their energy until they were exhausted. They ran back over to me and fell on the ground, both laughing.
I handed them each a water from my bag, and we all sat in silence, sipping water and enjoying the bright sunshine. It was getting hot, and I knew we needed to head back soon, but I wasn’t ready to end my day with them. It wasn’t often I got to take them somewhere new and special. I wanted to enjoy this moment as long as I could.
“I’m glad you came to live with us,” Tommy said suddenly.
When I looked at him, I saw that he was playing with a blade of grass, his eyes focused downward and his face slightly flushed.
“I’m glad too,” I said. “You guys are so much fun.”
“I love you,” Sarah said brightly. Her smile was enough to melt my heart, but her words made me tear up.
“Oh, honey,” I said. “I love you too. And you, too, Tommy.”
Tommy smiled but kept his eyes focused on the grass. I ruffled his hair gently and leaned back, closing my eyes to bask in the sun.
“You’re like a mommy,” Sarah said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, looking at Sarah curiously
“You take care of us,” she said. “You feed us breakfast and lunch and dinner. You always give
me baths and put us to bed. And you take care of Daddy too. You make him eat when he forgets, and he smiles more now. He never smiled so much before you moved in with us. That’s like a mommy, right?”
“I don’t know,” I said, unsure of what to say and remembering my promise to never try and take her mother’s place. “But I do know that I care about you and your brother and your daddy so much. I love taking care of you.”
“Will you stay for a long time, then?” Tommy asked, finally looking up. His eyes were so much like Sean’s, I found myself melting as he fixed them on my face.
“I’ll stay as long as you guys will have me,” I said, and I meant it. Being their nanny was the best job I’d ever had.
“Forever!” Sarah said with a giggle. “You can stay with us forever!”
“Yeah.” Tommy nodded. “Forever and ever.”
I laughed and pulled them both in for a hug. They both giggled when I tickled their sides, and soon, we were all in the middle of a tickle fight. Sarah was laughing so hard I worried she might pee her pants, so I calmed them down, and we headed back to the car.
Once inside, I cranked the A.C. and both Tommy and Sarah fell silent. It wasn’t often that either of them were quiet for any length of time, but they’d had a busy day today. They were exhausted, and I wasn’t surprised when Sarah fell asleep before we made it home.
I bent down in the backseat to wake her up, smoothing her hair off her face. She always looked so young when she slept, like she was two or three instead of five. I wanted to freeze this moment, to keep her little for a while longer. My heart ached as she opened her eyes and rubbed the sleep away. “Let’s get inside,” I said to the kids. “But remember, be quiet, okay? Your dad’s working.”
They nodded, and we all headed inside, keeping our voices down and our footsteps light. When we stepped over the threshold though, we saw Sean sitting on the couch, staring off into the distance.
“Daddy!” Sarah said. “We had snow cones!”
“That’s great,” Sean said without looking over. His voice was short and clipped. I knew immediately that something was wrong.
“Why don’t we do baths before dinner tonight?” I said. “You both got pretty dirty on that trail.”
“So, did you!” Tommy said with a laugh.