For about the millionth time, I had to ask myself – what was my dad thinking to attach this kind of a demand to his will?
“Malcolm, we're ready to see you now,” a forty-something year old woman with a soft voice said. She reminded me of my mother, in a way, except that she had brown hair that was pulled back into a loose bun atop her head. She also had deep smile lines etched into her skin that showed off a happy, motherly face.
I followed the woman back into a private office, and she introduced herself as Lisa. Just Lisa. No last name, we're all family here, she said. Her office was painted a light, soothing shade of blue. There was a small water feature on the cabinet behind her, the babbling of the water over the small stones helping fill the office with gentle, running water sounds so the silences would be less awkward.
On her desk were photos of her own family – a smiling father with two little boys that looked just like her stared back at us.
“Are those your kids?” Obvious question, but it felt like the nice thing to say.
“Yes,” she said, glancing down at the photo. “My husband Chuck, and my two boys Jeremy and Jacob.”
“A good-looking family you have there,” I said.
A good, wholesome, All-American family. Chuck and Lisa, Jeremy and Jacob. Almost sounded too good to be true. Like something out of a family sit-com from the 1960's or something. But there was photographic evidence of the happy family staring me
right in the face.
“Thank you, Malcolm,” she said, her smile widening. “So, you're thinking of starting a family of your own?”
“I am.”
“Straight and to the point, I like it. Which is why I'm going to get straight to the point as well, so please excuse my bluntness.” she said. She crossed her hands and placed them in her lap, leaning back into her chair. “Have you thought long and hard about this decision? It says in your paperwork that you don't have a partner, you're still young – what makes you interested in having a surrogate right now, when you still have plenty of time to have children of your own?”
“My father has a brain tumor.”
“I'm sorry to hear that,” she said.
The way her face softened, I believed she meant it too. She seemed kind and compassionate.
“Yes, it's been hard for my family. It's benign, and doctors anticipate her has about two years to live. About a year before he loses some of his – ” I choked on the next words that came from my mouth, “mental awareness.”
Her smile faltered, and her eyes looked sad. “That must be really tough on you and your family, Malcolm,” she said. “Are you sure that a baby, right now, is a good idea? With all that stress and uncertainty in your life?”
“My father's last wish was to see his grandchildren before he passes away,” I said.
I left out the part about the inheritance being tied to having a baby of my own since I doubt that would help my case. I needed to convince her that this was my idea, and something I wanted to do.
“I want to give him that,” I said. “I want to give him grandkids to for him to spoil and enjoy while he still has time.”
“I see,” Lisa murmured. “But tell me, Malcolm, is this what you want?”
I thought on her words for a moment. Yes, I would have loved to have a child, but not like this. I wanted a family of my own and had no real desire to be a single father. The doubts rose in my mind like a thick fog. But I couldn’t let my face show it. I needed to do this. Ready or not, I needed to do this. For my mother. My father. For my company's future, and for myself.
“Yes,” I said. “I've always wanted to be a father myself.”
That wasn't a lie. It just wasn't total honesty, either. “As long as you're sure, I can't turn you away,” she said. “I just want to make sure that this is the best thing for you and your family. I hope you understand.”
“I do,” I said and gave her a smile I hoped looked reassuring. “And, I appreciate that.”
Lisa pulled a folder out from one of her desk drawers and slipped it over to me. I picked it up and looked at it as she began to speak.
“This explains the process,” he said. “Once you've decided to go forward with this, we will begin the search for the right surrogate for you. You'll have the option of choosing your surrogate, and you'll meet with them, to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
“How long do you expect that to take?”
“It usually takes a few months to find the perfect fit.”
“A few months? I don't have a few months,” I said. “My dad – well – he has about nine months to a year before he starts declining in health. And, I need to have a child as soon as possible. I want him to be able to see his grandchildren before – well – you know.”