Hailey took the book from me and read my poem, which I had to admit seemed pretty childish now that I was older and had a little life experience under my belt. But, at the time, it had been what I felt. Hailey smiled as her eyes skimmed over the words on the page and it looked like a wave of nostalgia came crashing down on her.
“I do remember it,” she said softly. “I remember that it brought tears to my eyes when you read it out loud in front of the class.”
“I'm sorry,” I said.
She looked up at me, a startled expression on her face. “Why would you be sorry, silly?”
Leaning against the bookcase, I said simply, “Because I made you cry. That's the last thing I would have ever wanted to do, Hailey.”
“I cried because it was so beautiful,” she said. “You have a way with words, Quinn. You can really make people feel something. That's an amazing gift and isn't something you should be ashamed about. Nor is it something you should try to hide, either.”
She held onto the book, tucking it underneath her arm instead of putting it back on the shelf.
“I'm not ashamed, it's just not what men in my family do.” I shrugged. “We're not supposed to be in touch with our emotional side. We're supposed to tuck feelings down deep inside and be stoic. After all, I come from a long line of football players. Tough guys. That's who everyone expects me to be, so it's who I pretend to be.”
“But you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not,” she said, her lips curling up into a soft smile. “Especially now. High school is long over. We're adults now and are free to be who we want to be. If writing makes you happy, write. Don't even think twice about what anyone else has to say.”
“What if I told you that being here with you makes me happy?” I said.
Color rushed to her cheeks as she stared down at the floor. “Listen, Quinn – ” she started to say, but I kissed her before she could say another word.
Her lips tasted minty, and they tingled as they touched mine. They were so soft and luscious, they felt amazing and I got lost in the moment, slipping my tongue into her mouth. As soon as our tongues touched though, she gasped and pulled away from me, stumbling backward and nearly falling over, a look of absolute shock and mortification on her face.
I caught her arm. “Careful now,” I laughed. “I didn't mean to knock you off your feet there.”
She avoided my gaze and muttered something so low, I couldn't make out what she'd said.
“What was that?” I asked.
“I have to go,” she said, her face bright red.
She still had the book under her arm as she rushed toward the front of the bookstore.
“Hailey,” I called out, following her.
I caught up with her and grabbed her hand, but she yanked it away from me and kept walking with her head down, a bright red burn in her cheeks.
“Hailey, stop,” I said. “Please, just talk to me. What happened?”
She almost walked right out the door with the poetry book in hand, but then stopped, staring at it as if she couldn't decide what to do with it. She looked toward the counter and over to Mrs. Elwood.
“Can I come back for this later?” she asked, handing the book over to the older woman.
“Sure, darling,” Mrs. Elwood said with a polite smile. “I'll hold on to it for you.”
“Thank you,” she said.
Hailey quickly turned and pushed open the glass door, rushing out into the afternoon sunlight. I was on her heels though, and wasn't about to let her leave like that. I needed to apologize and get some answers from her. I'd thought I was getting some signals from her. But judging by her reaction, she'd either changed her mind or I'd read them all wrong from the start.
“Hailey, I'm really sorry,” I said. “I thought you liked me like that. I guess I misread the signals and –”
She stopped suddenly on the sidewalk, then turned to face me. “I do like you that way, Quinn,” she said, resignation and frustration in her town. “And that's the problem. I can't right now. I just can't.”
“Why not?”
“Because my life is too complicated as it is,” she said. “I came back to Black Oak because I need to be alone for a while to figure some shit out, and to get my head straight.”
“Let me help you, Hailey,” I said.