“You did?”
“It felt like a long shot a few days ago, but we had hope,” he says with a grin.
My face must show what I’m feeling because Lennox quickly reaches around to rub my back to soothe me. “Don’t freak out. I’m sorry. I forgot that we’re going to take things slow. But we want you in our lives, Caz. All the time. Think about it.”
I think of nothing else during my shower. Live with them? It sounds wonderful, but it also triggers panic.
I’m used to being on my own and doing things when and how I want. Surely, my independence would suffer if I moved in. And if I lived with them, I couldn’t keep working with them too. What if we got tired of seeing each other so much? What if we had a fight? Maybe I could keep my apartment as a backup plan, but it wouldn’t feel right to live with them and not contribute to their rent or mortgage.
But it would be heaven to wake up next to them every morning. And it would be nice to have company during meals, or have someone to laugh with when I’m watching a funny show. Not to mention all the mind-blowing sex.
Maybe Christine is right. I need to take a risk — even if I get hurt at some point — because there’s a chance things might work and all our lives could be happier by being together. I need to be brave and take a chance.
And I don’t need to move in right away, but if I keep seeing them and things go well, it would be the next logical step.
The thoughts continue to swirl as I rinse the soap away, and as I towel off, the strangest feeling rises inside me: A bubble of happiness emerges as a big grin. I almost don’t recognize the bright, hopeful person in the mirror.
Maybe the pain of the past several years will someday be a distant memory. As I let myself open to the idea of taking a chance with the Stone brothers, happiness seems to spread into every cell in my body.
How wonderful that the four of them are back in my life, and in a way that goes beyond what I could have ever imagined. They want to be with me, and I want to be with them.
I trust that they won’t hurt me again. They wouldn’t say the things they’re saying if they didn’t mean it. I know in my heart they wouldn’t lead me on.
I understand why they left years ago, and I think I’m finally ready to leave that hurt in the past.
I’m literally humming as I pull on the shirt Lennox left on the counter for me. It smells like the clean laundry scent I associate with him, and wearing it makes me feel like he’s wrapped around me.
The happy tune vibrating in my throat comes to an immediate stop when I open the bathroom door. There’s a woman’s voice somewhere nearby in the house.
“I know she’s here. Where is she?” the voice demands.
24
Shame and anger
The blood in my veins turns to ice, but then it quickly blazes to an angry fire.
There’s another woman here?!
They’re involved with someone else, and they’re sleeping with me? Is it someone who followed them from New York? Or maybe someone they met since being back on the island?
I’m about to stomp out and confront all of them, but thankfully I stop and listen for a few more seconds.
“I’m not going to tell your mother, because she’s been through enough already,” the voice says, “but whatever’s going on here needs to stop immediately.”
It’s their aunt Michelle. And she’s fuming.
I shrink back into the bathroom and slowly close the door, careful not to make a sound. The voices are more of a murmur now. Barrett or Bronson says something, she responds, and then a door slams.
I wish I could somehow slip out of the house unseen. I’m sick to my stomach and my heart is pounding in my chest.
“Caz?” There’s a knock at the bathroom door. When I don’t answer, my name is repeated. I think it’s Lennox who’s calling for me. When he knocks again, I open the door a few inches, enough for him to see my face. “You heard,” he says.
I nod.
“She’s gone. C’mon out.”
I remain frozen for several more seconds before I finally open the door. When he tries to put his arm around me, I shake him off.
“Caz, it’s okay,” he says.
“It’s clearly not.”
I find the other three men in the kitchen. Barrett’s taking a drink from a coffee mug, and Bronson is opening bakery boxes. They both stop when they catch sight of me.
“She heard,” Lennox says.
“How did she know I was here?” I ask.
“Your car’s outside,” Bronson reminds me. Of course. “I had just arrived and was walking toward the door when she pulled in,” he says. “She said she saw your car here late last night when she was out getting medicine for Mom, who had a headache. When she saw your car was still here this morning, she insisted on coming inside.”