"What, exactly, are you referring to?"
"THIS! All of this … the romantic meal, all of this outward affection … you and Lorna … all of it," she says. "Are you falling for her?"
I look into her eyes. Her confusion is palpable.
I want to tell her how I really feel, how I meant what I said before; I can't stand Lorna, but none of that comes out of my mouth.
For the first time in a long time, I'm nearly speechless.
"I have to do what's best for the company, Becca," I say.
I watch as tears tug at the corners of her eyes.
I'm fucking dying inside. Literally dying.
It's like someone is holding a match to my insides, burning me slowly, and there's nothing I can do about it except to allow my heart to be set ablaze.
187
Becca
I run out of the Four Seasons and onto Park Avenue not knowing where else to go. I just know that I need to get out.
Get out of there. Get out of that toxic situation.
I'm breathing ha
rd. I'm panting.
My heart is racing. My eyes are seeing spots. I see stars, and not the good kind you see during sex, but the kind that makes me think I'm having a stroke.
My head is spinning and it feels like my entire stomach has fallen to the ground.
How could Mason just turn around and betray me like this?
Like it was no big deal? Like it was just a business decision.
Didn't he know that I was falling in love with him?
I mean, you noticed the signs, didn't you? When I talked about him, you could tell that I was falling in love with the guy, right?
Please tell me that I wasn't just feeling that in my head and actually driving him away or something. Please tell me that I didn't do something inadvertent to make this happen.
Wait.
Actually, no. Don't tell me anything.
I don't want to talk about that bastard for another second.
I can't believe him. That fucker!
I should have known to stay away from him from the first afternoon where I saw Mom leaving his apartment. You remember that night I tried to seduce him? Calling him Daddy? I bet he was laughing at me.
God, I bet he's just laughing at me right now, isn't he? I bet he and Lorna are just chuckling over how I'm nothing more than a stupid little girl who thought she was indulging a crush on her stepdad. It wouldn't surprise me if the Lorna knew this whole time and was just going along with the whole thing and laughing behind the scenes.
No, don't shake your head. After what Mason just pulled in there, anything is possible, you know.
I know you want to give him the benefit of the doubt and everything, especially since I'm pregnant with his baby. But trust me, he doesn't deserve it. He's an asshole who doesn't deserve to have the benefit of anything. I seriously hope that--