He remains silent now, his lips slightly parted as he takes in my words. I look at his face, trying to read the expression there, but I just can’t do it. And so I continue.
“There was just one thing I wasn’t counting on…” I tried, but I couldn’t stop the tears, and now there’s one streaming down my face. It goes down to my lips, its saltiness somehow filling me up with a deep sadness. “I wasn’t counting on falling for you,” I finally admit, my words hanging in the air between us.
“I was supposed to destroy you because you were an asshole, but after getting to know you… I found out that you were the opposite of what I expected. You’re a good man, Liam, and you’re a much better person than I am. And, for what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.” I push these last words out of my mouth with effort, my voice already cracking. And that’s not the only thing that’s cracking right now - I can almost feel my heart splintering inside my chest.
Looking out t
he window for an instant, Liam sighs and then looks me in the eyes. I hold my breath as I wait for him to speak, realizing that for the first time in my life, the roles have been reversed.
This time, I’m the one having her heart broken.
Liam
I can’t help smiling at Cara. She looks so fucking cute all worried like she is. She’s biting her lip and twisting her fingers as she watches me, holding her breath as she waits to see what I’m going to say to her shocking revelation.
“Baby,” I say, “I know all about Lust Muscle.”
She just stares at me. I can see the minute my words sink in because her face goes from blank and trying to process to utterly perplexed.
“What do you mean, you know?”
I sigh. I knew this would come out at some point. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but this has obviously been eating at her. Her confession made that clear enough. Dating me under false pretenses has apparently been hard on her. But I need her to know it’s okay.
“Cara,” I say, moving to her side and taking her hands, “it’s okay. I promise. If I’d known how much it was bothering you, I would have said something. Especially if that’s why you’ve been avoiding me for the last couple days.”
“I don’t understand.”
I need to start at the beginning. I’d much rather cuddle up with her and order some take-out or something right now, but we need to get this out of the way.
“So, your friend Renee?” I pause, and she nods. “She’s friends with my friend Connor. They’re also both friends with Misty.”
She cringes at the mention of Misty. I don’t blame her.
“Apparently Renee is a bit of a matchmaker,” I continue. “And apparently Connor decided that it was time he got personally involved in my love life.” Though up until Cara it had really been just a sex life.
She just looks at me in silence. I have no idea what she’s thinking, so I keep going. “This was their attempt at matchmaking. Us. It’s not very orthodox, that’s for sure, but I guess they thought it would work.” I shrug. “They weren’t wrong.”
Cara frowns at this.
“Anyway, I never thought I’d have more than one date with you, so I agreed to it. Especially after seeing how fucking hot you were at the swim club.” I grin, thinking she’ll laugh at the memory, but her frown turns into a full-on scowl.
I must be doing this all wrong, but I don’t know what else to say but the truth. “Cara, the last thing I expected was to fall for you. But I have. Hard. Maybe the way we met wasn’t typical, but I’m sure as fuck glad I agreed to it because now I have you.”
I look earnestly into her eyes, expecting her to smile at my declaration. To be relieved that I’m aware of the whole situation. To be happy that we’re together and in love now, no matter how we met. None of the shit that got us here matters now that we have each other.
Instead, she yanks her hands from mine, backing up, her face full of anger.
“You lied to me,” she spits out, shock and hurt mixing with the anger.
I shake my head. “That’s not how it was Cara. You know that.” She doesn’t say anything, so I try again. “Listen, it’s not like I was the only one with a secret in this situation. Hell, I could be mad at you for playing me like this. But I’m just happy that we found each other.”
“You lied to me,” she says again.
I rake a hand through my hair, frustrated. Why is she being like this? “I knew the situation,” I correct her. “It’s different. But if you want to be technical about it, you were lying to me too. All along. Fuck, lying is what you do for a living, so stop being such a hypocrite.”
Fuck. As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I could take them back. It was the wrong thing to say. I see the shift on her face almost immediately.
I’ve hurt her with what I said. And that’s the last thing I want to do. I step toward her, reaching for her, wanting to make it better. I should’ve thought before speaking, but I seriously thought it would be no big deal. I mean we should be laughing over the whole situation right now.