Her soft little body is pressing against me. Everywhere she’s soft, I’m hard, and the contrasting sensations mixes up everything in my mind and I can’t think about all this melancholia drenching my throats. Lucy presses her soft lips to mine, parting them so slightly and sliding her tongue into my mouth. So gentle. So sweet. She tastes like a freedom I never knew that I wanted. This is what happens to a man who has everything. You want something more. Lucy makes me want a lot of things.
Now, my hand gripping her collarbone, I want to rip every inch of her clothes off her body and put my mouth on every soft and trembling part of her. Not exactly gentle, but I can show a modicum of restraint and get what I want. Breaking our kiss, I pull back and look into her hazel eyes. They look back at me through sooty lashes, a wide smile spread over her cherry lips. I reach out and suck in her lower lip, releasing it and dropping down to my knees. For a moment, all I want is to wrap my arms around her legs and squeeze her. So I do, holding her so tightly that she shakes in my hold. I say those words to her that I find myself saying like a prayer. “I’ve got you,” and that’s the truth for her as much as for me. I want to have her. I need to have her. And she has me so wrapped up in her that I don’t know what to do to keep control of myself. I don’t want to be in control when I’m with Lucy. I don’t want to pretend to be anything. I don’t want to manipulate her.
That’s what’s really unlocking me to the core. Lucy makes me want to be free to be whatever it is that I’ve become.
But if I was, would she even want to be near me?
I pucker my lips to just above her knee, kissing soft as a wind in spring. My other hand trails up her skirt and finds the soft vee of her cotton panties, encasing what I need but what I’ll take time to get to. Not just because of some gentle act … I have a compulsion to worship every inch of her, here and now, when she’s real and in front of me. It almost feels like if I don’t touch Lucy as much as I can, she’s going to fade away.
Her hands are in my hair, not with any particular goal and just to touch me. No one has ever touched me so tenderly and it cracks something hard in my chest that breaks free a wellspring of emotions. My fingertips sweep back and forth over her panties, inside her thighs, and back, before I sweep in and pull down her panties, in one hand, but still gentle and soft. When they slide down her thighs, down to her ankles, I don’t let her step out of them, my other hand holding her leg in place. I like having her so gently captive, at my mercy while I try to worship her with the grace she deserves.
“You have no idea what you’ve done, walking into my life, Lucy,” I whisper against her inner thigh, kissing her.
“I don’t have to know, I just need you,” Lucy says, and I realize she heard what I said.
Her words shake me to the deepest part of me, buried deep behind the mask of who I am every day.
God, that woman could penetrate my armor if it was forged in the pits of hell. Some days, that’s exactly how I feel, and yet here Lucy is and she’s at my side. For now.
My teeth graze over her knees, softly skirting the flesh and not breaking skin or even being so rough to even qualify as a bite. My fingers slide over her bared pussy softly but don’t enter her yet. I just need to feel every part of her, slide through her folds and feel how wet they are, how ready for me they are. I let my thumb slide up to her clit. The bud is swollen with need and I can’t deny her what her body needs. Sliding two fingers in her pussy and working them into a curl to softly stroke her G-spot, I ghost my thumb over her clit. I have to be really gentle as I’m going right to the money spots. I want to stroke her, tease her, bring her to that point where she’s ready to fall apart in my hands. I stroke her, looking up at her gorgeous face. I see how she whimpers, little sighs escaping with her breaths. Her breathing hitches in her throat and gets more shallow, and I know she’s close. My lips on her thighs, kissing her softly, licking at her soft skin to taste her, bringing her to shiver. That’s when I know she’s close and I’m not ready to let go of her just yet. I scoop her up into my arms.
Carrying her to the bed, I lie her down like she’s so fragile she might shatter. I slide my hand from under her skirt slowly because I’m not going to let her shatter just yet. I press my fingers into her skin, cascading down her leg as my hand exits. I hook my thumbs under her skirt and slide it off. I pull her shirt up and off. Her hands are on her bra and I watch her take it off as I pull off my own clothes. I keep myself from tearing off my clothes in a mad fury. There’s a fury building so strong inside of me I would've shredded it all in a second flat, but I’m not trying to be rough. I’m being tender. Savoring every moment of tonight.
Because I know the truth. Sooner or later, because I’ve told Lucy that she can go, she’s going to see me for who I am, and when she does, she’s going to leave.
I want to remember today forever.
I’m memorizing the taste of her skin, the curves of her body. Because every night when I close my eyes, that’s all that my mind can conjure. But when she’s gone, I won’t be able to pull her tight against me while we sleep.
Lucy shoots me a mischievous look and then gets up on her hands and knees, pressing her ass up in the air and in my direction. God, she has a wicked mind that I love to plumb the depths of. Not so long ago, she’d never been kissed. Now she’s inviting me to fuck her from behind with the gorgeous half moons of her ass calling for my hands.
I suck in a breath and grip each of her ass cheeks with my palms, holding handfuls of her and stroking my cock up her pussy slit. Damn, she feels amazing. My cock is so hot rubbing against her pussy that if it weren’t for how wet she was, I’d be afraid we were going to start a fire.
I slam into her and fuck her so deep, so hard, so fast, that neither of us can breathe for several seconds. I keep fucking her, hard, slamming deep into her pussy and rocking my hips with every thrust to make sure I’m claiming every inch of her. My hands grip her hips and I thrust again and again until I feel just how ready she is.
“Cum for me, Lucy,” I say fast, trying to catch my breath again. My heart races at the feel of her pussy gripping my cock so hard that I groan out loud. I bury myself inside her and cum so much I can feel our cum dripping down her thighs. I like defiling that sweet pussy and mingling our cum together so damn much. Her legs are ready to give out, so I pull her up against me, and then pull us both onto the bed. I slide my cock out of her and hold her against me, savoring the scent of her skin while she shakes. Little tremors from the afterglow of us fucking. My hands hold onto her so tight you’d think I was trying keep her from flying out the side of an airplane. Because losing her will crush me.
I know I have to tell her that I’m married. I know it because I want her to marry me, and that’s not going to happen unless I dump off the woman I’m currently married to. Which shouldn’t be too hard because my current wife was trying to get Lucy’s brother to kill me.
Lucy
Gian doesn’t bring up the argument again, and really doesn’t bring up anything for a while. We talk about how my brother is doing well and how I should go visit him soon, but not yet because he’s having a difficult time with the detox. I believe Gian, but I can tell that there’s something else that Gian isn’t telling me.
I don’t confront him about this or whatever sin from his love life that Margot doesn’t want to tell me about. I’m just not ready. I'm tense a
nd frustrated, and right now I don’t want to drown in the overwhelming tides of my relationship with Gian. I don’t want to think about how my brother is suffering. I know he’s getting help. I know that when the time is right I’ll talk with Gian.
I realize what I need more than anything is for Margot and I to hang out tonight. I go down to the spa, and when she sees what I’m wearing, her eyes get super wide.
“We should dance tonight,” I tell her.
“Are you sure … after—“ Margot looks weary.
And I can understand why. But I don’t want to worry about anything tonight. “I need to feel unburdened and unstressed like I did before that really terrible ending to the last time we danced. I told Gian that I can do what I want with my body, and if he still has a problem, then it's with me.”
Margot looks convinced and I can tell that she would much rather be having fun than being worried.
“My brother is not doing so well and I just need a distraction,” I say quietly.