He fumbled for his cell, punched in his driver’s number and then gave a terse order for him to collect Pippa from the clinic. He was being the worst sort of ass. He was walking away from her when she needed him the most. But he couldn’t pretend. He couldn’t smile and be excited when he felt like he was dying all over again. He wouldn’t stand there and suck the joy from her.
After making sure John would take Pippa home, he turned and walked back to where his car was parked. In the past couple of months, he’d been staying more in the city so he could be closer to Pippa, but right now he wanted more than anything to retreat behind the iron gates of his Connecticut estate.
* * *
“He just left?” Pippa asked in bewilderment.
John looked discomfited as he led Pippa to where he’d parked the car. “I believe something urgent came up, Miss Laingley.”
“Like what?” she demanded. “What could possibly be more important than this? And he couldn’t simply tell me he had to leave?”
The more she pondered the matter, the more pissed she got. She was working herself into a righteous fury as John ushered her into the waiting car. All the way home, she fumed. This should have been special. They should even now be celebrating. Instead, she was on her way home alone not knowing what the hell kind of bug was up Cam’s ass.
The past couple of months had been terrific. Cam had lightened up. He had seemed to relax his guard around her and didn’t act so freaking stiff and uptight all the time anymore. They’d had fun together. If nothing else, they had become friends and for the first time Pippa hadn’t looked to the future with gnawing uncertainty that somehow Cam wouldn’t be in it for the long haul.
So much for that assumption.
What the hell was wrong with him?
John pulled up to her apartment but Pippa sat in the backseat for a long moment. Frowning, she leaned forward. “John, where did Cam say he was going? Do you know where he is now?”
“I believe he’s returned to Greenwich.”
Home? Home? What the ever-loving hell? This big emergency brought him home? Oh, hell, no. She’d had about enough of his volatile moods.
She sat back with a bounce. “Take me to Greenwich, John.”
John did a double take in the rearview mirror. “Pardon?”
“You heard me. Take me to his damn cave.”
“Perhaps it would be better if you called first. Mr. Hollingsworth doesn’t like to be disturbed when he’s in residence.”
“I don’t give a damn what Mr. Hollingsworth likes,” she said sweetly. “Either you drive me or I’m taking a cab the entire way.”
With a resigned sigh, John pulled back into traffic.
She stewed for another hour, and by the time they rolled up the long winding driveway of Cam’s home, she was in a foul mood. He’d messed up everything and she was going to hear what his excuse was or else.
When John stopped in front of the house, Pippa was out before he could open his own door. She marched up the steps, considered knocking, but then decided if she came all this way she wasn’t going to chance that he wouldn’t answer.
She shoved the door open and went inside.
“Cam?” she yelled belligerently. “Where the hell are you?”
She stood a moment, waiting for him to appear, but she was met by resounding silence.
“Cam!” she yelled louder. “Get your ass down here!”
A moment later she heard footsteps and then he appeared at the top of the stairs, his brows furrowed.
“What the hell are you doing here, Pippa? Is something wrong?”
If it wouldn’t take so much effort, she’d march up the stairs and punch him. He had the nerve to act like he’d done nothing?
She shook her head, her fingers curling into a tight fist. She was already fantasizing about decking him.
“You ruined the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me and you have the nerve to ask if anything’s wrong?”
He descended the stairs in a slow, methodical manner, his footsteps sounding ominous in the quiet. When he reached the bottom, he took a few more steps until he was a short distance away and then he stared coldly at her.
She shivered under his scrutiny. There was no warmth in his eyes. None of the friendship and caring he’d demonstrated over the past weeks.
“What on earth is your problem?”
“You came all this way to ask that?”
She refused to be put off by the censure in his tone. She closed the distance between them, poking her finger into his chest.
“I thought we were friends. I thought you cared a little about me or at least about our child. Friends don’t pull what you pulled today. What were you thinking? You left me alone in that exam room and then had your driver come for me? I want to know what the hell your problem is.”
“Not everything is about you, Pippa.”
The ice in his voice just served to piss her off more because she knew he was holding back. Knew that something was wrong and he didn’t trust her enough to tell her what it was. But what right did she have to pursue it? They were “friends.” Nothing more. He didn’t owe her anything. It hurt to remind herself of that little fact.
“I thought we were at least friends,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.
She turned away, realizing just how stupid she’d been to come here at all. It was the one place she wasn’t welcome. Had never been welcome since that night when they’d first slept together. He hadn’t been able to get rid of her fast enough the next morning and he’d never, ever brought her back here. They met in the city. Never here.
She needed this reminder because she’d come dangerously close to building larger expectations. Creating a fantasyland where she actually had a chance at a future with this man.
“Don’t bother coming to the next appointment,” she said stiffly, her back still to him. She began walking to the door and had almost reached it when he caught her hand. She hadn’t even heard him come up behind her.
“Pippa.”
The single word conveyed a wealth of emotion. Regret. Sorrow.
She paused, her hand trembling in his.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “Please don’t leave like this.”
She yanked around, fighting to keep angry, frustrated tears at bay. “Why, Cam? Give me one good reason. You don’t want me here. I don’t even know why we’re pretending to have any sort of a relationship at all. Let’s just cut our losses and get it over with now.”
“I don’t like anyone to come here,” he said harshly. “It’s not personal to you. But… Just stay. I’m sorry for the way the appointment went. I was an ass. I ruined your moment.”
“Our moment,” she corrected. “It was our moment, Cam. It was our child’s moment when he was revealed to his parents. It was a moment that neither of us should have ever been able to forget, but in all honesty, I now don’t want to remember. Because how will I ever explain to my child that his father walked out the moment it was told to us we were having a son?”
Cam flinched and went pale and those vivid blue eyes stared back at her, flashing with so much dark emotion.
The tears she’d tried so hard to hold back slid down her cheeks as she stood shaking before him. And then she was in his arms. He hugged her tightly. So tightl
y she couldn’t breathe. His body shook against her. She could feel his rapid pulse jumping against his skin.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Pippa. Please just stay. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve this. Forgive me, please.”
And then he was kissing her. Hot, breathless, almost desperate. He touched her, frantically, as if his need for her was the most important single thing in the world. Like she was the single most important thing in his world.
She felt his sorrow, his uncertainty. It rolled off him in waves. His despair and grief. His regret. There was so much emotion churning inside him that it was tangible and thick in the air.
And then his touch became gentler, became more beseeching, almost as if he was begging her not to deny him. To touch him back. To offer him the comfort he seemed to crave.
She was unable to remain cold and distant when he was crumbling before her. She kissed him back, her breath hiccuping softly over his lips. And then she slid her palm across the slight bristle of his jaw, cupping his cheek in a simple gesture of acceptance and understanding. Of forgiveness.
He swept her into his arms as if she weighed nothing and carried her into one of the downstairs bedrooms. Leaving the door open, he moved to the bed and eased her down onto the mattress.
He hung over her, his eyes fierce and hungry. Her breath caught when he came down over her, hard and unrelenting. His mouth claimed hers once more and it was several long seconds before she could breathe again.
Impatiently he pulled at her sundress, tugging it free of her body before tossing it aside. He quickly divested her of her underwear until finally she was naked beneath him.
Then his expression changed. Some of the darkness faded and he stared down in wonder. Carefully his palms slid over her slim form to the gentle swell of her belly. He cupped it, and then to her shock, he lowered his head and kissed the firm bump.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again.
Emotion knotted his throat, making the words almost indistinguishable, but the harsh apology hit her right in the heart. Nobody who heard it could possibly think he didn’t regret his actions with all his heart. He was essentially stripped and bare, standing before her starkly vulnerable.
She gently wrapped her arms around him to pull him close. “It’s all right, Cam.”
She pulled him higher to fuse his mouth with hers. Their tongues flirted and played and then he plunged deeper, overwhelming her with his essence. His body moved possessively over hers, though he was careful not to put his weight on her abdomen.
He kissed her neck, in turns gentle and then rougher until she was sure she’d wear marks the next day. He licked and nibbled at her skin, sucking lightly as he made his way lower.
When he got to her breasts, he hovered just over one of the tips and then tilted his head up so he could meet her gaze.
“Are they more sensitive now?” he asked huskily.
He ran his thumb over one crest as he awaited her response. A shudder worked over her body.
“Yes, definitely.”
“Then I’ll be extra careful.”
With infinite tenderness, he slowly ran his tongue over one rigid peak before sucking it into his mouth. She came off the bed, arching helplessly into him as wave upon wave rolled over her.
It had been a long time since that careless night between them. She wanted him desperately. The past weeks had been a form of torture. He’d been so