My Summer in Seoul

His jaw was tight as he set my phone on the counter and shoved past me. Rae was at my side in an instant. I don’t know what he could say to make it better though; after all, Lucas was just being honest, right?

I was messing everything up.

Adding to everyone’s stress.

And it wasn’t getting better. No matter how many times I memorized their profiles, no matter how many times I made them tea or took them from point A to point B and made sure they were on time for their schedule, somehow it would always still be wrong.

“Grace…” Rae’s face had fallen as he reached out for me.

“No.” I pulled away quickly. “No, he’s right. I’m going to go call my parents. Can you guard the door for me?”

“Sure, whatever you need.” His eyes locked with mine. I hated the pity I saw there. The way he was regarding me was the exact same way he looked at Lucas as if I needed to be put in a glass case and watched to make sure nobody hurt me even though I was already hurting.

I forced a smile I wasn’t feeling and left the room, charging toward my bedroom and shutting the door behind me with a soft click.

I leaned against it and caught my breath before calmly going to my small desk and opening my laptop.

It would be early in the morning at my house, but I knew that both my parents would be up. They were early risers after all and were expecting my call.

I dialed home.

My mom’s face appeared after two rings. “Grace!” She yelled it so loud that had I been holding the phone against my ear, I would have had to pull it away so my brain didn’t explode. “How’s the end of your first week treating you? Are you happy? Do you love Seoul? How’s your uncle? Do you see him a lot?”

“Give her time to answer.” Dad chuckled as his face appeared next to my mom on screen. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hi.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I, um, it’s… good.”

Dad frowned. “Good?”

“Yeah, great, I mean, great.”

“Grace.” My dad’s voice held a warning tone. “Your words don’t match the sad look on your face. What’s wrong?”

What was I supposed to say?

They’re mean?

One of them hates me and is on suicide watch?

This comeback may destroy them before they even get that far?

I sighed. “It’s different here.” I finally went with. “The pressure…”

Dad nodded knowingly. “It’s definitely not Hollywood.”

I snorted out a laugh. “No, in Hollywood I’d be doing drug searches on top of suicide watch.”

Mom gasped. “They’re on drugs?”

“No!” I almost yelled. “No, no, God no. That would be… No, I don’t think that’s something I would ever need to worry about here. Getting caught with weed or something in Seattle is actually legal. Here I feel like it would probably not only be all over the news, but your career would crash and burn.”

“Oh, good.” Mom sighed, then frowned. “You would never, though, even though it’s legal.”

Oh, Mom. I held in my laugh. “No Mom, never, don’t do drugs and all that.” I winked and then allowed a chuckle to slip through.

Dad laughed with me.

My mom, while adorable, was so innocent at times it made me want to protect her even though she was the parent.

“Make good choices and all that,” she almost sang.

“Totally.” I nodded.

Dad’s gaze locked onto mine before he rubbed my mom’s back a bit, then asked, “Hey, do you know where I left my coffee?”

“Oh yeah!” She got up. “Let me go grab it.”

“You’re the best.” He kissed her cheek, and off she went to hunt down what Dad and I both knew would take at least a moment or two so he could talk to me without having her worry.

Once she was gone, he turned the computer toward him. “Be serious. This has nothing to do with drugs. What is this really about, Grace?”

Tears burned the back of my eyes. “I didn’t fit in until college, at least not the way my friends did, and I thought… I thought—” My voice caught. “I thought for sure that once I was in Korea, I’d fit in here. I’d look the part. I’d find all those pieces that seemed to be missing growing up. But instead, I feel just like I felt at home. I mean, I look the part, but I know none of the rules. I’m just this giant disappointment.”

“No.” Dad’s voice was low, gravelly. “And that’s my fault, not yours. Grace, you can’t expect to be there for two weeks and suddenly fit in, just like anyone from Seoul couldn’t expect to come to Seattle for the first time and fit in. Everything is different. You’re still on a learning curve; give yourself some time and grace, just like your name.”