My Summer in Seoul

“Worst name for someone as clumsy as me,” I muttered.

“I disagree.” He crossed his arms, his black suit and blue tie hugging his chest. He would go to work soon, saving the city one criminal at a time, and then come home to a perfect meal prepared by my perfect mother only to repeat the process again. “Do you know why we named you Grace?”

“Because it’s a pretty name?” I said helplessly.

He laughed. “No, because it’s only by the grace of God that we were able to finally have you. We never knew if your mom would even be able to carry you full term. Instead, not only did we have you, but you came into this world screaming your head off. You were a fighter; you still are. I think somewhere along the way you’ve forgotten that, so let me remind you who you are. It doesn’t matter that you’re Korean American. That your mom has blond hair, and your dad has darker skin. It doesn’t matter because all hearts are the same, Grace and yours has a huge capacity for love. You’re a fighter. So what if you feel out of place? Most people do, even when they don’t admit it. We’re all trying to find our place in this world. Remember who you are. My daughter. That’s your place, and that’s all that matters.”

I swiped the hot tears from my cheeks just as my mom returned with a coffee mug and stared at the screen in horror. “Did Dad scold you?”

“No.” I laughed. “No, he didn’t scold me. Actually yes, Mom, he made fun of my hair. Send more money so I can get it done?”

Mom gasped and pinched Dad’s arm.

Dad became flustered, started swatting at her hands, only to pull her in for a kiss.

Special moment gone.

I made a face. “You have a room for that.”

“Say goodbye, Grace.” Dad kissed Mom again.

“Noooooooo.” I made a gagging sound. “Go, go, before you scar me for life. And… thanks, Dad, love you guys!”

“Love you!” Mom’s cheeks were flushed as she turned to me and blew me a kiss.

Dad waved me off.

Typical.

We had a moment followed by him forcing me to leave so he could kiss my mom.

I laughed after I shut my computer.

I wanted a relationship like that.

One that almost always would make whatever kids I had want to run away screaming even as it showed them what love really was.

I suddenly saw Lucas’s face in my head and almost dropped my laptop onto the floor. “No!” I shook my head vehemently. “Never, nope, nope, nope, not possible.”

I was still shaking my head long after I returned to the living room. Most of the guys had dispersed for either voice lessons or recording. When I poked my head into the spare room where three of the guys were taking lessons and then into the studio attached to the living room where another was recording, Jay was still nowhere to be found.

Great. Just great. The one time I’m gone, and I have a missing SWT member.

I didn’t want to worry Rae, so I quietly left the apartment and took the stairs to the roof.

At least it wasn’t Lucas up there.

I still felt like running, though. What the heck could Jay be doing on the roof still?

The guy was a mystery to me.

Sure, he was nice enough. He just seemed to keep to himself despite his playful attitude and easy smiles. Something had been bothering him the last few days, and since I was a relative stranger, it felt dumb to ask him to confide in me, besides handing over a cell phone for him to speak into felt extremely impersonal.

Lately, I just chalked it up to the pressure of the comeback.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I shoved the white metal door open and began my Jay hunt.

He was standing by one of the alcoves on the other side of the roof, and there was someone with him.

Another guy.

One I didn’t recognize.

Wait a second!

What!

I did recognize him.

It was Dae-Jung.

What the…

He lifted his hand and touched Jay’s forehead like he was brushing something out of the way. Jay pulled back.

Dae-Jung looked disappointed.

What the hell? They were both speaking in English! Except Jay had a slight Australian accent… son of a bitch! Did they all speak English? I narrowed my gaze.

Why did it feel like I was watching a TV show right now, and the main character was getting rejected?

Did I announce myself?

Ask if they needed anything?

Or just awkwardly sit there and wait for Dae-Jung to leave, then swoop in and make sure Jay was okay, despite the fact that I wanted to shake him for not telling me… then again, I didn’t ask; so maybe that was on me?

He put his hand on Jay’s shoulder pulling him close.

“Not now.” Jay shoved him away again and faced the city, hands on hips. Dae-Jung did the same.