She used to prop her head in one hand and stare down at me while we talked. She doesn’t do that now. Instead, she scoots several inches away so we’re not touching, removing all intimacy until we become virtual strangers again.
I twist my neck to look at her. She rests her head on the pillow, tucks a hand under it, and scrutinizes me. “Why didn’t you introduce me to your son?” she asks.
My brows knit in consternation. “What?”
“When we went into your house, you introduced me to Cage but not to Ethan. Was it punishment for the past? Or am I so awful you don’t want me tainting your son?”
“Jesus, Greer,” I growl as I sit up, planting one palm on the mattress and angling my body toward her. “Is that what you think?”
She shrugs, but her cheeks turn pink so I know I’ve embarrassed her.
As well as hurt her, clearly.
Scrubbing my hand through my hair, I sigh and give a slight nod. “I purposely didn’t introduce you to Ethan, but not to punish you. I did it so he wouldn’t see how conflicted I am. And he would have been able to read me in just the matter of an introduction. I didn’t feel like getting the third degree from him about you.”
Greer’s expression is blank, as if she didn’t hear a word I said. Then she blinks and asks in wonder, “Your son knows you that well? He can read you within a few words?”
I nod, smiling more to myself than at Greer. Ethan and I are tightly bonded. Always have been.
“That’s enviable, Ladd,” she murmurs, her eyes shining with what I take to be happiness for me.
It seems we’re talking about deep stuff, which was the premise I knocked on her door to start out with.
Scooting up against the headboard, I snag a pillow and lodge it behind me for support. Greer lies gloriously naked, head tilted slightly to look up at me. She has no qualms about her nudity and makes no move to cover herself. I’m the same… feeling completely comfortable beside her.
“Why did you come to see me ten years ago?” I ask.
She doesn’t bat an eye at my question. I’m sure she’s been expecting it at some point.
“It was a mistake,” she says quietly.
“No,” I say sharply, shaking my head. “You don’t get to pawn off that visit as a mistake. You had a reason to come see me, and I fully understand the reason you didn’t stay. But I want to know what led you there.”
“It was a mistake,” she repeats, but then adds, “I mean, it was a mistake to let you go, and I was coming to tell you that. That I realized my mistake and I wanted to apologize. And I wanted to see… if there could still be something between us.”
Anger, regret, and sorrow all well up in me.
She was too fucking late as I had moved on.
I knew it was fast, meeting Britney and jumping into a heavy relationship. We married fast, too, and she got pregnant quickly. We both wanted that perfect house in the burbs and of course, a baby. Britney and I wanted the same things, so I didn’t wait. I moved on and left Greer in the dust, and when she came looking for me, it was too fucking late.
I don’t know whether to be mad at her or myself.
Probably both.
“You should have let me know you were there,” I admonish.
“Why?” she demands on an almost shrill laugh. “You were married! You weren’t going to leave your wife because I’d had a change of heart.”
“Change of heart?” I ask, my own heartbeat thudding at what that could mean.
“It doesn’t matter,” she says dismissively and starts to roll away from me.
My hand shoots out, nabs her upper arm. She looks back over her shoulder, and my eyes flick briefly to her infinity symbol that matches mine. “It does matter.”
Greer laughs again, but it’s flat and bitter sounding. “Why? Were you going to leave Britney? Let me answer that for you. You were not because you are a good man and loyal, and she was your wife and pregnant. So there was no point in making myself known to you.”
Greer is right about that. I would have stayed with Britney, definitely out of love, because of course I loved her. But it would have been mainly out of loyalty.
I loved Britney, but never like I loved Greer. My feelings for Britney were warm and secure, whereas my love for Greer had no boundaries, hurt as much as it pleased, and was such a catastrophic loss when we broke apart, I probably cheated Britney out of my full heart.
Greer tugs her arm free and moves from the bed. I could push her into telling me about her change of heart, but I expect it would end in an argument, and neither of us needs that.