“No!” Horrified at the picture that made of her, of her friendship with Greg, she clamped down on her tongue.
“Do you know his feelings on having a family?”
As Elaina stared at the doctor, humiliated to admit that she did not know, it occurred to her that Cheryl was spending far more time with her than her job stipulated. It was up to the doctor to just deliver the news, then let Elaina find a counselor who could help her sort out the horrid mess she’d made of things.
“I broke up with him after I’d made the final decision to proceed here,” she said, heat inflaming her face as she told another god-awful truth. She’d been sleeping with a man, intermittently, no strings attached, while meeting with a counselor and going through preliminary paperwork to have her husband’s child.
It was all so...mixed up.
“Peter’s been gone for so many years...”
Cheryl shook her head. “It’s not wrong for you to have a man, or even men, in your life, Elaina. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
A life she’d promised herself wouldn’t include a man propping her up anymore.
“I didn’t intend to live celibately,” she said then, honesty pouring out of her as though she could somehow redeem herself. As though she needed redeeming.
“I just... I mean I was intending to be celibate for a while—until the baby was old enough that I’d feel comfortable going out on a date now and then. Maybe longer.” She’d figured that she could cross that bridge when she came to it.
Everyone at the clinic had seemed to take a personal interest in her quest to have Peter’s baby. Most of them had known him. Known how much she’d loved him. Known how much he’d loved her, too. Almost as much as he’d loved medicine.
She’d let them all down.
Let his memory down.
Shaking her head, she stopped her thoughts before they took such a melodramatic turn that she made more of a fool of herself. She hadn’t been having Peter’s baby for him—she didn’t owe it to him. Or if she did, it was only in small part.
If she hadn’t raised her voice to his raised voice...maybe he’d have seen the car driving in the wrong lane sooner...could have reacted in a timelier fashion...
Still, a baby didn’t change any of that.
No, it just changed her life. Gave her a family to love. To raise. To watch grow into a contributing member of society. To be happy and find joy with...as a single parent.
Peter’s baby wouldn’t have come with the added complication of a living father.
And yet, he or she would have had Wood as a father figure...a very willing biological uncle who came with an equally willing aunt. Cassie and Wood had been thrilled when she’d told them she wanted to have a family. Had offered to help her in any way they could.
Said they’d babysit, that the cousins—their new baby and Elaina’s soon-to-be—would be pals for life. Go through school together. Celebrate holidays together.
Even before they’d found out that she intended to do it alone. With Peter’s sperm.
She glanced at the doctor. “You’re sure?”
Dr. Miller nodded.
And Elaina watched her whole future change course once again.
Chapter Two
Greg had to admit he was curious to see Elaina’s home. In a train-wreck kind of way. His own emotional equilibrium train wreck. In all the time they’d been involved, he’d yearned for and never received an invitation. Going there after the breakup was more a slap in the face than anything.
He was driving from the hospital to her place for a private meeting she’d requested—to tell him, he felt sure, that she suspected, as he did, that there’d been a mistake with drug administration going on at work. Greg allowed himself a small bit of anticipation at the prospect of finally seeing where she lived.
Six weeks before, he’d have been all over an invitation to the sprawling home with the built-in pool. He’d been mildly intrigued about the place when he’d first met her more than a year ago and she’d told him she shared the home with her ex-husband. Wood had since married and moved out, but...how did a divorced couple coexist happily and separately under one roof? Greg hadn’t asked. She and Greg had just been coworkers on the same charting committee at that point.
And he’d been brand-new to town.
Once he’d become her lover, he’d had a little more reason to need to understand just how the situation worked. But they’d been drawn to each other because of their shared resistance to a committed relationship, having both come off divorces, and they’d kept any really personal questions off the table.