“No. Not yet. I was too stunned. He says he wants to be friends again. I want to see what he has going on in his life too. I’ll figure out when to tell him. It’s not going to be fun, especially since I have to tell him his dad knew.”
Mom nods. “Be careful. You don’t need someone who will be in and out of Savannah’s life. She needs consistency. He either needs to be all in or all out. And y’all do not have to be together for him to be a father to her, so don’t let him talk you into a relationship.”
“No worries about that. A relationship is the last thing I want with him.” Seeing him, though, was hard. He’s bigger than he used to be, like he works out more than before. His beard is a little longer. He looks older and more manly. Other than that, he is the same Ian as always. I glance down at Savannah. Her eyes are green, just like his. That seems to be the only thing she got from Ian. Everything else is all me.
These past two years since my high school graduation have been hard, but so wonderful, too. My mom has helped me more than I can say and ever repay her for. This summer, I’m actually moving to Raleigh. Carey and Logan are already there from where they went off to college. We’re all living together. Savannah will go to a daycare while I go to school to continue my degree, and Carey and Logan will help watch her while I work as well. I’m hoping for a nightshift type job. It’ll be easier for Carey and Logan to look after her if it’s when everyone will be sleeping anyway. I’ll figure it out when I get there.
In the meantime, I need to decide how to tell Ian he has a daughter. Hopefully, he’s grown up like I have. I really hope he can stick to what he said about us only being friends. The last thing I need is for him to complicate things. He may not have known about Savannah, but that doesn’t mean I can forget about how he hurt me to begin with. I don’t care why he lied or if he didn’t mean it. None of that matters now.
Savannah grabs the necklace with my birthstone on the pendant and tugs. Yeah, I still wear the stupid jewelry he gave me. I’ve been hoping Savannah would tug too hard and break it, honestly. That’s the only way I’ll be able to take it off, it seems.
Ian Rhett is a weakness, and no matter what, I do not need to be anything more than a friend and the mother of his child.
It takes two days to gather the courage to meet him for dinner. When he opens the door, he’s dressed nicely in dress pants and a button-up shirt. He told me where we were going, so I’m dressed accordingly. The plan is to drive out of town to a nice restaurant. Is he trying to impress me? Why?
“Wow,” Ian says. “You’re gorgeous.”
I’ve been on three dates since Savannah was born, all at the insistence of someone in my family. That was never said to me. My cheeks burn. “Thanks.”
He steps forward, hesitates, and then his arms are around me in a hug. “Thank you.” My body betrays me and relaxes against him. “I promise you won’t regret it, Sydney.” He leans back. A soft kiss is pressed to my mouth.
Why? Why did he have to do that? Friends don’t kiss each other!
“Let’s go eat.”
He steps away from me to grab his keys like nothing happened. Nothing has changed with him. He’s still sending mixed signals. He still never said he wanted more, which I don’t want anyway, but he wasn’t supposed to kiss me!
Over dinner, Ian asks about my life. I tell him college is going well without mentioning it’s been community college up until this point. He says he travels a lot for his job, but then he asks me another question about my life before I can ask him what he does. Traveling doesn’t sound good on my front. How can he be in Savannah’s life enough for her to know him if he’s traveling all the time? Besides, he says he lives in Canada now. He doesn’t even live in the same country!
Soon, we’re back at his hotel and I’ve yet to tell him about Savannah.
“You still wear them.” He nods at my necklace and bracelet.
I shrug as if it’s not a big deal. “It’s the only jewelry I own.” I should go. I don’t need to be in his hotel room.
“Do you still love me?”
“We’re friends,” I remind him.
“That doesn’t really answer my question.”
“I think it does.”
Ian steps close to me, way too close for comfort. “Did you miss me?”
“Ian,” I sigh. Why is he asking pointless and stupid questions? My gaze drops to his mouth. That seems to be what Ian is waiting for, a sign of weakness, because he kisses me hard.
Game over.
Our mouths and hands move frantically. We stumble over to the bed. This time, Ian has a condom, thank god. The sex is fast, almost rough, needy, and all I can think is I missed this so much. But once it’s over, I give myself one minute to come to my senses.
“Where are you going?” Ian asks when I get up and start getting dressed.
“Home. You should head to Canada, and get back to work, too. We’re just friends, Ian, and that shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake.”
I stare at him, waiting for him to challenge what I said. He doesn’t. So, I leave. At some point, I’ll find the right moment to bring up Savannah, but I still don’t know what he’ll do. The odds are against us, even though we’re not trying to be together. He doesn’t live here and I don’t know if he’ll leave his job to find one here to be close to her. Hell, I don’t know if he even wants that. It doesn’t matter to me one way or another because I’ve been getting by just fine without him.
But knowing that Mr. Rhett didn’t tell him I was pregnant means I really need to tell Ian. Just not today. I wish I knew why he kept it from Ian. I won’t find out anytime soon. Today, I’m going home to hold my daughter and forget I slept with him. Soon, I’ll tell him about Savannah. It’s a relief that Ian doesn’t live here because that should make it easier for us to be friends.