“What do you mean?”
His muscles tense, his gaze moves to the door, and he quietly says, “Me when I’m off my rocker.”
I really hate Cal. Lowering the ice, I reach out and grab Collin’s chin, making him look at me. “You aren’t off your rocker, Collin. You’re a man going through a hard time. I signed up for whatever it’s like to be with the best Kessy and I’m fully prepared to deal with that.”
He stares at me for a moment. “Try to get some rest.” He grabs a pillow and stands.
“What are you doing?”
“Sleeping on the couch,” he says as if it’s obvious. “I’m not putting you in danger anymore and it’s obviously dangerous to share a bed with me.”
It hurts that he doesn’t feel as if it’s safe to sleep in here with me, but at this point, I don’t think I can argue with him. I almost want to, but I don’t think he would change his mind. I smile a little, the best I can without it making my eye hurt worse, and watch him walk out of his bedroom.
I settle back into bed, letting the ice soothe my eye for a while, before finally going back to sleep.
When I wake up as the bed dips, I see Collin sitting next to me with a frown on his face. Marmalade sits next to him and Collin pets him, a constant purr coming from the cat because of it.
“I’m sorry, Jules.”
“Stop apologizing to me. I’m fine.”
“You haven’t looked in the mirror yet. I’d feel better if you hit me back a few times.”
I laugh. “I don’t think I can do much damage.” I sit up and reach for his hand. “Don’t worry about it, Collin. You need to focus on the game tonight.”
“I will when I need to. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” I nod, wondering how exactly that is going to work. “Are you seeing your parents while you’re there?”
“Are you kidding me? When I look like this?” I joke, but it causes Collin to groan. “I might,” I lie; I can’t risk seeing them. “My lease is actually up soon and I’ll get them to handle that for me. It came fully furnished, so I’ll be able to pack fairly quickly and what I can’t bring, my parents will store for me, I’m sure.”
“I wish I could come with you to help.” He sighs. “Do you want me to get someone to go with you? At least for company? It’s a long drive back.” Before I can tell him that I’ll be fine, he says, “It’ll make me feel better.”
“Who would go with me?” There isn’t any actual need, but maybe it’s not the worst idea in the world. I also don’t want him to worry about me unnecessarily.
“Deanna. She’s the captain’s girlfriend. They’ll be able to keep it a secret, too,” he adds as if he can see the question in my eyes. “Will you at least let me ask?”
I nod. “If it’ll make you feel better and if she can keep it a secret, go ahead.”
Collin smiles and leans forward to kiss the corner of my mouth. Butterflies explode in my stomach with that little action. “You can get some more sleep if you want. It’s still pretty early. I’m heading over to Brayden’s to run. I’ll ask while I’m there. Go ahead and unpack what you have and make room for yourself today, okay?”
“Will do. Enjoy your run.”
Those runs have been so important for him. If a person can burn off their anxiety by running, then that’s what it does for Collin. It doesn’t stay away, but he’s calmer afterward and it sets his mood for the day. Running with that dog, Otis, does something different for him than working out with the team.
I don’t know whether I should hope that Deanna can go with me or not. It’ll ease whatever worries Collin has, but I’m perfectly okay going alone and driving that long drive back by myself. It’ll help ensure I keep my own secret should anything happen while I’m down there. Marmalade climbs onto my chest, sits, and flicks his tail back and forth.
“Don’t listen to what he says, Marmalade. He actually loves you.” I scratch under his chin and receive a purr in response. “Okay, go away. I need a shower.” He stares at me in defiance until I sit up and he reluctantly jumps off the bed, running into the living room.
After my shower, I unpack my suitcase and find a place to put some of my clothes. Collin returns from his run, smiling, because he convinced Deanna to go with me. He also called his psychiatrist, so he’s on a new medication starting tomorrow. He gives me his brother’s key, so I’ll be able to get back into his apartment once I return.
The day passes without much incident and Saturday comes as well as a knock on Collin’s door.
“It’s Deanna,” I hear from the other side.
I walk over and open the door for her. Her eyes widen at the side of me, looking rough with a big fat black eye. She would probably be more concerned if I wasn’t wearing a long-sleeved shirt. “Hi,” I finally say. “I’m sorry you’re having to come with me.” I step aside for her to come in.
“It’s no problem. If Collin thinks you need company, I don’t mind doing a favor for him. We need to leave soon, right?”
“Yeah. A car should be here any minute.” I turn to grab my things, pet Marmalade one last time, and then we’re out the door.