My hand tightens around his neck. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Cal. You abandoned her when she needed you.”
His eyes widen. “You know?” he wheezes.
“I know. Get off your fucking high horse, stay out of my life, and don’t you dare call me crazy again.” Finally, I release him. Without waiting for him to say anything to me, I take Julie’s hand and walk ou
t of there. He calls my name, but I ignore that too. Cal can go fuck himself.
Julie, thankfully, doesn’t make a comment before we go our separate ways to drive home. I’m not a fan of this new development, but at least I still have my job. Dr. Gressley will be thrilled, I’m sure. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. Talking to a stranger about my private life sounds impossible. Not to mention, I have my trust issues because I want to make sure this part of my life stays private.
My life is one huge clusterfuck right now when it should be such a happy time because Julie’s here and we’re testing out a relationship together. My sweet Julie holds her silence until we’re inside my apartment. That’s about as much as I can ask for.
“How are you feeling about what your coach said? Or is it still soaking in?”
“You should know I don’t like it based on the other day,” I point out as we sit on the couch. Marmalade saunters over and rubs against our legs.
“Can you tell me why, though?” she asks with genuine confusion.
I don’t really want to, but I don’t think I have a choice. “It scares the shit out of me, Jules,” I admit. The woman has some patience today because she simply waits for me to explain. With a sigh, I turn my head to look at her as Marmalade jumps onto my lap for some head scratches. “When I see my psychiatrist, I always wear a hoodie, sunglasses, and a hat. They refer to me by my middle name because above all, I want my privacy super protected.
“I don’t want a soul to know I go through this. I don’t want the world to find out I struggle with this problem. And now, I’m supposed to go talk to a stranger about this? How can I trust them? How am I supposed to open up to them? What if I don’t make any sense? It sounds like a pure fucking nightmare, Julie.”
And it’s a nightmare I’m about to walk through.
Without thinking, I say the first thing that comes to mind: “Collin, quit whining and being a baby. The privacy thing you can set up, I’m sure, but the rest? That’s all you worrying and finding excuses not to go for no actual good reason.”
His eyes widen with shock.
“Collin?” Cal bangs on his apartment door. “Let me in! I’m sorry, okay? Let’s talk.”
Collin sighs. “Hold tight,” he murmurs to me as he stands. He lets his brother in and Cal stops short upon seeing me.
“Why is she here?”
“She lives with me,” Collin answers curtly, returning to my side, but still standing.
“Since when?”
“Since shortly after you tried to break into my room to get a look at her. What do you want to talk about?”
“Her!” Cal spits, flinging a pointed finger at me. The tension in the room thickens to the point where I don’t know how I’m still able to breathe. Marmalade sits in my lap, keeping an eye on the twins. “I still don’t understand this, Collin. It isn’t like you to keep things from me and out of all the people you could date, you’re picking a bitch like her?”
“She’s the bitch? You’re the dick who left her high and dry and still don’t know if you have a kid somewhere out there?” Collin fires back. “What is wrong with you? How could you do that to someone?”
Cal laughs in a weird, non-humorous way. “Because I was eighteen and I definitely didn’t want her in my life forever and I, like everyone else on the planet, wasn’t ready for a kid! And we were about to go off to college. We had a plan, Collin. She would’ve fucked that up!” Cal yells. “Who knew if we could’ve stayed paired together if I had to worry about her and a baby? You wouldn’t have this,” he waves his arms around, “if it wasn’t for me doing what I did! You need me to play hockey and you know it! It’s in your fucking contract that we be on the same team!”
Whoa. Really? I know they are brothers, twins, but surely separation isn’t impossible.
Collin is a stone for a moment. “You need me too, so don’t throw that bullshit at me! You ask that they don’t trade you without me. Ask her if you have a kid!” The two get closer and closer to one another and my worry about this escalating rises.
“I handle my shit the way I want, just like you do. Get off your fucking high horse and find some better pussy while you’re at it. Maybe then you’ll learn to stop whining and bitching about everything in your life. We have the same life, Collin!”
And the world explodes with his last words.
Collin throws a punch and within seconds, it’s a bundle of bodies. They roll over the chair, bump into the coffee table, and all the while, fighting like they’re teenagers again. Marmalade and I move to the kitchen. I know enough about these two that I don’t waste my breath telling them to stop. Seeing them fight when we were teenagers was one thing; seeing them as full-grown men petrifies me.
There’s so much muscle and strength. A load of anger and determination to win. Their hits are more accurate and their fury more reckless and dangerous.
They keep on until they knock over a lamp and Cal’s nose is bloody.